Parenting: The Overall Goal

Parenting is hard work. I know that this isn't a shock to many people, but honestly when I was a nanny, I thought that it would be so much better when I had my own kids. Of course, I knew all the answers with my many years of experience and the fact that I would get to choose how we parented was just icing on the cake! Of course, now that I am a mom, I know better.

Making the right decisions for you and your family is so hard. Do we let him cry it out or do we attend to his every need? Cloth diapers or disposables? Homemade baby food or store bought? When and how much technology should we introduce? What do we do if he's not hitting milestones? These are just a few questions that we've had to face and some answers are easier than others.

Our little guy is bright and very observant, but he's not super motivated to hold his bottle, crawl around the room, or put his paci in his mouth. We've talked to the doctor and she's not concerned and neither is the physical therapist or occupational therapist, but honestly, his temperament is something I'm not used to. It's almost like he's an exact mix between me and his father. Shocking, I know.

When it comes to him being observant and really taking things in, that's where he he's like me. He needs a lot going on and isn't happy with just staying in and having the same things to do. He likes to get out and see new places and do new things.

Then there are times where he just needs his routine and is content to not really push boundaries too much. He has his times where he is laid back and just wants to do what he wants in his own time and way. This definitely comes from my husband.

I'm finding it hard to parent this sensitive, sweet little boy who is also determined and stubborn in the way he needs. I'm often at a loss for what to do and on the phone with my mom asking her a million questions.

We are constantly learning through trial and error, but our goal is to raise a sweet, kind, strong, independent man who loves the Lord and really cares for others and that's what we're aiming for.

Blessed

Matthew has another virus and we're on week 3 of less sleep (day and night) and this momma is exhausted. When the little guy woke up this morning and was happy as a clam I thought it was awesome! Early, but awesome. Then he started freaking out and crying 2 feet away from me and refused to crawl over to me. I sat there trying to coax him over so that he learns that I'm there for him, but he can come get me when he needs and he still sits there crying. He doesn't give up either, he just wants his momma and he wants me to come get him. Every.single.time.

I love being this kid's mom, but I'm spent. The sitter we hired took on another position and doesn't seem to have any availability for us anymore. I'm bummed, but my mother-in-law has been taking Matthew one day per week at her house so that's been helpful except that now we have a friend staying with us and she's here all the time. As in, she doesn't have a job yet and I almost never have the house to myself. At least she's in the guest room downstairs now, but still. I need some space.

The humidity is unbearable lately and causes my asthma to flare which means I'm no longer running and that makes me sad. I did order some workout videos that should be here this week so maybe it's a blessing in disguise. But still, I'd love to be able to breathe better when we go run an errand.

I guess I just always thought I would love being a stay-at-home mom and I do, but it's one tough gig. You never know fully what you've signed up for until after the fact and, even though, it's been rough these past few weeks, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's ok to have a rough day and we all have them. It's not always going to be easy or super fun, but the fact that I have the most important job in the world right now is more than enough.

11 Months

How is it possible that I have an 11 month old?! Party planning has definitely begun and I am absolutely thrilled that our little man is growing up and able to do so much more now.

At 11 months, our little man is...

• Crawling, pulling up to stand, and very active. He loves standing with mom and figuring out how to get into cords and our dvd players.
• Still wearing 12 month clothes and size 3 diapers. We still cloth diaper at home, but use disposables too.
• Really into "swimming" and kicks and splashes every time we go to a pool. We signed him up for fall swim lessons because he just loves them so much and is doing really well...even if he tries to lick and drink the water.
• Eating mostly what we eat, but still has some pureed foods to help get some of the chunkier things down. His favorites seem to be bananas, waffles, grilled cheese, mum mums, yogurt, and cheerios.
• Super expressive! I love seeing all of his facial expressions and reactions to things.
• Finally sleeping through the night, even if he's waking up between 6-630am.
• Taking 2 naps per day usually around 9am and 130pm.
• Very independent. He likes to play on his own, but will let you know when he wants his momma or some attention.
• So smart and observant. He is such a great little guy and I am definitely happy to be his mom.

Running

In high school I was part of the cross country team so I ran a lot. Being the slowest on the team didn't matter, all that mattered was that I ran and did my best. I never won a race or got any points for my team, but I worked so hard and loved it. It was challenging and really helped to release stress and clear my head.

Two years ago I really started working out and getting back into shape. Even when I lost 30 pounds I still couldn't run and I was so disappointed. No matter what I tried, it would hurt so bad and I couldn't continue. Running even 1 minute was torture, but I craved it. Then I got pregnant and stopped all exercise until recently.

My family in California is really into running. My step-dad has run most of his life and trained my sister to do so as well. My mom just started running a few years ago and has completed two half-marathons to date and she never ran before that. My other sister just started running a few months back with a run/walk program and is now up to 1.5 miles! Being around all of these people I was definitely inspired to try again so I did.

The first night I went out and ran 1/2 mile without stopping! It was hard, but I did it and made sure to continue and keep it up while I was out there. My step-dad bought me a couple of pairs of running shoes and my mom gave me some compression socks so that I would be able to run and hopefully have less pain.

The past two or so weeks that we've been back have been hard to get into running. I'm still making sure that I do, but the heat and humidity are making it difficult paired with the fact that I'm slow as molasses and my calves tighten up and hurt. I'm determined to do this and I'm trying to not get frustrated that I'm only able to do a little bit and that my time/distance aren't improving much. I'm still getting out there.

I love how much running can help to clear your mind and help me de-stress after a particularly rough day. Have I mentioned that my baby is on day 3 of super fussiness?

Either way, I'm working on doing my best and that's all that counts.