Announcement and Prayers Needed

*Due to the nature of this post, if you know me on facebook or outside of the internet, please do not post anything online. Feel free to email or text me. Thank you.*

We found out we were pregnant the day after Christmas! We were shocked and excited since we didn't think it was going to happen without help from a fertility specialist. I called the doctor the next day and got my blood drawn. 

Later that afternoon I was experiencing some moderate cramping and went to the hospital per a friend's advice. I got checked out and they said that I should be approximately 5 weeks per my beta draw. They saw nothing on the ultrasound, but didn't expect to since it was too early.

I went in to make sure my levels doubled after the weekend and I was relieved that they had. We scheduled my first prenatal appointment and called it a day. At the first appointment, we were told to schedule an ultrasound to get a due date since my PCOS makes me irregular so they wanted to get a more accurate date of how far along I am.

I had an ultrasound done this morning. They were able to see a small sac, but she said that she couldn't see it very clearly. The ultrasound showed that I should be 5 weeks 2 days along. The tech said that she suggests coming back in 10 days to see if we can see a baby with a heartbeat. She also said that I might just be earlier than they thought. No big deal. I can handle that. I mean, a week and a half ago we didn't see anything and now there's a sac!

Then we told to see the doctor. He reviewed the ultrasound notes and blood work and started off saying that I should get a repeat ultrasound in 7 days. Then, he switched gears and started talking about my beta levels were too high for only being 5 weeks and that I have a 90% chance of miscarriage. He asked if I was bleeding and I said no, just some cramping which he said is a good thing. Then he started talking about a D&C and how I should start considering that. He had me get another blood draw to see if my beta levels are continuing to rise appropriately and we can talk tomorrow.

His bedside manner was lacking and we were left feeling confused and overwhelmed. I have already contacted a new doctor and will be switching either way. I have no intention to see someone who doesn't care about me and will dismiss me so easily.

All I know is that my God is bigger than any 10% chance and if it is His will that this baby doesn't make it, then we know that there was nothing that I could do and there was something wrong with the baby. If we end up with a healthy baby, then we'll be ecstatic. Either way, God is good and we can use this situation for His glory.

Please pray for me and my husband as we are going through this. All I know is that today I'm pregnant and tomorrow we will find out our levels.

So What Wednesday

This week, I'm saying SO WHAT if...

• I stopped blogging for a while. No reason, really, just got busy.
• I wish my husband could have the rest of the week off with me. It's been great having him home for five days in a row.
• I can't seem to remember it's Wednesday. Yesterday I kept thinking it was Thursday and today I have no idea what day it is.
• Taking a break from dieting and exercise is exactly what I needed. I maintained throughout the holidays and that makes me so happy!
• We're still waiting to hear when I start my new job. It was supposed to be the day after Christmas, but the person getting my references done was out on vacation. 
• My sewing machine is in for cleaning for the next week or two and I'm happy! It will come back clean and I'll have a nice break to be able to sew for fun again.
• I've been bored here at home. With my sister gone and my husband back at work it's been a little slow around here.

2013

New Years is always a time for reflection and a time to look forward to the great things that are coming. The year 2012 was good for us in many ways, but we are so excited for 2013. 

This year we are hoping for a big year full of great things.

The first is buying a house! We have saved a little more than half of our down payment so that means we'll have it in the next couple of months and can start looking in the spring when more people will put their houses on the market. I can't wait to be looking at houses in person since it's so different online. We are praying and trusting that God has the right house for us that will work and will be in our budget.

We are also praying that this is our year to have a baby. We're putting our faith in God that He has a baby for us and that we will be able to expand our family this year. I know my parents and my in-laws are all looking forward to grandchildren so hopefully that will all work out.

Of course, I have some personal things I want to work on this year including growing deeper in my faith since last year was hard for the first half of the year and it kind of took me off guard. I have a new appreciation for God and want to continue to grow in Him this year not only individually, but as a family. 

Lastly, I want to work on being more gracious, less judgmental, and more understanding. I sometimes come across a little abrasive or like a know-it-all and I'm working on that. I want to be a woman that has grace and is diplomatic in all situations.

I can't even begin to explain how happy I am for 2013 to be here!

Whirlwind

This holiday season has been a whirlwind of business and joy. My husband was able to spend a lot of time with me and my sister came out to visit. We went to New York, Virginia (twice), Gettysburg, and Washington DC. She loves big Christmas trees so if there was one around, we had to go see it!

I also did a ton of sewing and taught her how to sew a zippered bag. She was so excited to make something and it was fun to teach her.

Overall we had a great time. I can't wait to go see her in May for her college graduation. Things are settling down here and I'm a little happy about that.

Sister Time!

In just one short week my sister will be here! I'll get to spend eleven days with her showing her around.

She had one request this visit and that was to go to New York City! So, we booked a day trip and some bus tickets and we'll be going for a day. I've never been there so I'm super excited. Let me know if you have any suggestions on what we should do while we're there.

In addition, we're taking her to Virginia twice for Christmas parties, Washington DC, Annapolis, and Gettysburg (maybe). I know she'll be happy to get out and see some new places.

I'm hoping for good weather while we're out here and as long as our day trip to New York isn't too cold, we would love to have some snow while she's here. Growing up in Southern California you don't really get to experience snow unless you go up to the mountains.

So, we can officially start the countdown...

So What Wednesday

This week, I'm saying So What if...

• I bought a home tens unit for my back. I'm tired of being in pain and only being able to be treated at the chiropractor.
• I haven't been blogging a lot. There's been a ton going on and I'm ok with that. Sometimes you need to take a step back.
• I can't wait for my sister to come into town. We barely talk when we're apart, but when we're together we have a blast!
• I'm living vicariously through one of my best friends who is pregnant with a little GIRL! I'm so excited that her due date is the week before we visit.
• I'll be so happy to have all of my orders due before Christmas done. It will be nice to sew for fun.
• I called the Sewing Gallery about my application. I need to get out of the house and distract myself  and this would be such a fun way to do it and make a little bit of money. I will hopefully find out later today if they are able to hire someone.
• Living with my in-laws I sometimes feel like I'm doing the walk-of-shame. I know it's ok since we're married, but it's still weird all the same.

What's Next?

Abruptly moving in with my in-laws caused us to question whether or not now was the best time to expand our family. In a way, it would be helpful having his mom around during the beginning part of pregnancy. But, at the same time, we don't know how long we'll be here and there's not enough space to bring a baby here.

I've talked before about how we decided to stop treatment for the time being. At first, I was very upset even though I knew that we were making the best decision. I know that my mother-in-law would prefer for us to be trying to avoid a pregnancy at this time, but I also know how difficult it is for me to conceive. The fact is that if the Metformin alone works to regulate my cycles, it can take 3-4 months. So, we're comfortable with our decision.

The best thing about this is that I do not stress any more about getting pregnant. Of course, I wonder when my cycle will decide to appear, but I'm happy to not have to go through all of the monitoring. It's not fun to get blood work and ultrasounds multiple times only to find out that you may or may not get pregnant.

So, we're just trying to enjoy life for now. We know that God has a little miracle for us and that we will get pregnant when it's the right time.