Decisions, Decisions

I have around 6 personal training sessions left and three months until the wedding. My first thought was to buy more to get me through the wedding, but then what happens after the wedding? Personal training is expensive and I know that we won't be able to afford me to have a trainer for the rest of my life. I mean, I love the idea of having a trainer to motivate me and tell me what to do and talk to me the whole time to keep my mind off of working out, but seriously?

It's been no secret that I haven't been thrilled with my current gym. I've looked into other gyms in the past and decided that with the move, I should continue to look closer to my new place. So, I looked and you know what I realized? Unless I have someone holding my hand (aka a trainer), I probably won't go on a regular basis, so why pay for it? We don't really need to spend all of that money on a trainer or a gym membership, so why not just cancel it and figure something else out?

I've been thinking about this for weeks now and I finally have my conclusion. If I'm not going to go, then we shouldn't waste our money. Phil's parents have a perfectly good treadmill at home, they also have an exercise ball and Phil has some adjustable weights that I can use while being there and the new apartment has a fitness center I can use.

I've come to the realization that I can't have someone "holding my hand" through the weight-loss process. I need to take responsibility for myself and make it happen. I've had trainers before and I know what to do...now, it is up to me to make it happen. We have the equipment, so, let's use it!

I'm working with Phil on a goal for me to attain. We've been talking about our budget and establishing weekly allowances for all of the little "extras" we spend on. I was thinking that maybe, in the beginning, I could earn my allowance by working out. Each day would be a set dollar amount and we would set limitations. I'm also looking into a "workout planner/scheduler" where I can write down what I did each day or check off all of the days I've worked out.

Basically, I'm trying to figure a way to motivate myself to do what I need to. No one can make me do this, it has to be my decision. I'm tired of paying for people to tell me to do what I already know how to just because I don't want to do it by myself. It's time for me to get motivated and stop wasting money!

Day 1

The motivation I had yesterday to get started with the trainer has really kicked in. Today was my first day with my new trainer...and...I loved her! She was everything I was looking for in a trainer. After the last trainer I had, it was great to have someone who seemed interested in my goals and what I have to say. I'm really glad that I requested her and was adament about it. I figured that if she is always in the gym working out, then she must be pretty decent at it and seemed nice.

We talked and figured I would do 3-4 days a week with her and some extra classes of cardio when I am not working out with the trainer. It was a bit costly, but will hopefully be worth it. She was so encouraging and made sure to give me only one homework assignment for my diet for this week which was to eat one more fruit or vegetable per day than I normally would. Easy enough! She said she didn't want me to get overwhelmed with the workouts and completely changing my diet all at once because then I would be more likely to give up on it....See? She rocks!

I have another appointment with her tomorrow morning since she has decided to come in even when it wasn't in her original availability. It is so great to work out with someone who is encouraging and will push me when it needs to be done.

Hopefully we will see some results next month when we do the next set of measurements and weigh in!

Let's get the party started

Let's face it, I've gained 20 pounds in the last year. That's kinda a lot and I am not happy with it at all. The weight gain has been mostly because of stress with some "love weight" thrown in there by falling in love with an incredible man. Either way it needs to go.

I'll be the first one to admit that I am a procrasinator. The gym to me seems like a great idea until it is time to go. I'm also the best excuse maker ever --due to years of practice when I was a kid --to get out of anything I did not want to do.

I'm also a stress-eater. When stress comes my way so does my appetite. Cheeseburgers, pizza, bacon, ice cream, chocolate, cake, cookies...you name it, I want it.

Because of all of these things it has been really bad on my health. I have back pain, knee pain, and I get winded going up and down stairs. When we were at DisneyWorld this past summer, I couldn't even walk around the whole time. My back was in so much pain. My knees hurt, and my feet were so swollen I couldn't even fit into shoes or my sandals I had brought! It has gotten so bad that part of my leg feels swollen and will hurt if I have it bent too much. Unfortunately Phil's sister in law is a doctor and said it is not swollen. This of course means that it is just my fat that hurts....ouch :(

I am, honestly, about 55-60 pounds away from my goal weight. It's been exhausting to not be able to bend down while sitting to get things without having my belly get in the way. Phil will actually volunteer to do many things for me to help because he knows that it is incredibly uncomfortable for me to do myself--like carrying things up the stairs for me at his house. I'm not incapable and I do many things, but the weight does get in the way more than I would like it too.

I had just about had it today when the realization came that my insecurities all stem from my weight in some form or another. The once a month personal training is not working because we only meet once a month and other than that the average gym trip has been once a week...not too good.

Phil and I had talked about how I need more training from a professional multiple times a week to really see results and be motivated. With feeling so insecure lately I decided to talk to him about actually doing that and headed off to the gym to get prices on different training options. He agreed, surprisingly, that it would be a good idea to have me try it out for 3 months meeting with a trainer 4 times a week! This way I am guaranteed to go to the gym 4 times a week for the next 3 months and there should be some kind of significant progress by that point.

My first appointment is tomorrow with my new trainer. I am hopeful that it will go well and that it will be the kick in the butt I need to get going with weight loss and living a healthier lifestyle.

Gym Hiatus Over

After a 3 week hiatus from the gym and eating healthy all together I have resumed my regiment. I had last friday off so off to the gym I went for my "fitness evaluation"...you know, the one where they tell me I need to lose about 60 or so pounds to be "healthy" and do a work out with me that makes me so sore afterwards....ya. So we worked out and talked about personal training options. Honestly, there has always been something intriguing about personal training, but it has always been too expensive. After talking with them for a loooong time I decided it might be worth a try. Basically, my trainer would work out with me once a month and set up a workout schedule with specific workouts to do for every day I will be going to the gym so I know exactly what to do and there are no excuses. Also, they help you with nutrition even if you only meet with them once a month!

I thought that definitely this could be a good thing and that it would be great to see if the program is do-able for me. i have serious motivation issues when it comes to the gym...don't judge me. When they signed me up they had a year contract written up...WHAT??? I signed up anyways so that I wouldn't feel embarrassed, made an appointment, and went to tell Phil what I had done. Phil agreed that a month-to-month contract would be better or to be able to try it out for a few months first to see how I do with the program. We went back to the gym yesterday and talked to them to try to get the contract changed.

At first she said that the contract was already signed and their programs are one year long. Luckily, I had read the fine print that gave me until today to cancel the contract. As we talked to her for 10-15 minutes to explain how we think it would be best to try it out on a shorter term and sign up if it is what we were looking for she kept explaining that it is a year long program and it will take that long to reach my goals...nice try. We then said that we can cancel and are considering it because we didn't want a one year commitment...that's why we paid off our memberships in full!

It took a while, but she finally offered us a 6 month contract. Phil was still a little hesitant and we got it down to 3! * persistence people, persistence* Now, I will have a plan, trainer, and no real excuses *other than laziness* not to have this work out. Positive thoughts, laziness aside, I can do this :)