Happy Husband, Happy Wife

My motto has always been, "Communication is key!" I really believe that communication is so important in all relationships especially when you are married.

Lately, I've been trying to get my husband to communicate with me a little more. Usually, I plan out what errands to run and when and he has his own idea of how things are going to work out. Unfortunately, that doesn't often match up so we both end up frustrated. This happened yesterday so I reminded him that we need to make sure to talk about it before we do things to make sure that both of our needs get met when it comes to time management. And you know what? Last night, he did exactly that.

My husband is on a tight schedule when it comes to his bed time when he works the next day. It doesn't always work out, but when he gets one bad night, it usually leads to another and he ends up feeling awful by the end of the week. When he expressed that he was stressed about getting to bed with what he still needed to get done, I gave him a suggestion on how to do manage the time he had left better. Of course, this is not what he needed, but he didn't tell me that right away.

Imagine my surprise when he told me shortly after our conversation that he was frustrated that I didn't offer to make him a turkey sandwich for lunch. At fist I was taken back a little, but I know he's been making this sandwich with the leftover turkey from Thanksgiving and I have no idea how he makes it so good. I told him that I just didn't want to disappoint him and make something he didn't like. He took that explanation and seemed ok with it, but the more I thought about it, I wasn't.

My husband is not picky about food. As long has he can stand it, he'll eat it. Plus, he just did what I've been asking him to do and telling him how it will make things easier. So, I did what I should have done in the first place and I made his turkey sandwich. 

I'm not sure if he'll like it as much as if he had made it, but I'm sure he'll like it just fine. Most importantly, he appreciated that I took the time to listen to him and make his sandwich.

My Husband is the Head of the Household

Submission. 

There, I said it. I promised to submit to my husband in our vows because it was important to me, but how often do I submit and let him take the lead on things?

This is what has been on my mind lately.

I'm a strong-willed, opinionated woman. I like to lead and be in control, but this is not the role I'm supposed to take on in our marriage. Likewise, my husband is very calm, yet stubborn and is ok taking a step back. In a nutshell, I have a type A personality and he is type B. Sometimes this makes it difficult for me to stop and let him lead since I like to be the one who initiates things.

I've been feeling a prompting from God that I need to let my husband lead. So, that's exactly what I decided to do...except, that I didn't tell him. Instead, I sat back at Ikea when we couldn't fit the dresser in the car, laid out the options that we could utilize to get it home, and let my husband make the decision. Yes, that took about an hour extra, but I wasn't pushing him to make a decision that he didn't think was best. I encouraged him and told him that I would be happy with whatever he wanted to do.

This past weekend we went apartment hunting. After yet another incident that happened at our current apartment, we made the decision that we are moving and we needed to find a place. So, with my typical list in hand of places to check out, we took all of Saturday after church driving from apartment complex to apartment complex looking at different layouts, floor plans, pricing, and amenities. It was fun for me, but can be a little taxing for my husband.

We found out that we have different opinions on layouts and although we may both like the same ones, inevitably, we will each favor a different floor plan than the other. Again, the prompting began. I could feel God telling me to back down and let my husband make the decision. I silently prayed that God would help us find an apartment that we both liked and that I would be able to submit to my husband even if we chose the one that I liked, but wasn't my favorite.

We drove in to the last place and I had made up my mind that we were going to end up at the complex he liked more in the split-level apartment and not worry about how we would get our furniture up the stairs. I wasn't expecting much from this new place, but was shocked to find out that they were 100% occupied, all utilities are included in the rent, and that they were in our budget.

We sat down, looked at floor plans and talked a long time about the complex. We walked around to see the grounds and amenities and when the leasing agent was getting something from another room, I leaned in and asked my husband what he wanted to do. He said he wanted to put in an application and be put on the waiting list...right then and there. I was shocked. My husband likes to come home, talk about it and think about it for a week or two before we make any decisions. He is not impulsive at all and I could tell that he felt that this was the best place for us.

I decided to go with his lead and we started filling out the applications. Then, the leasing agent asked us which floor plan we liked. Immediately, we each picked a different one *head desk*. Here we go again. My husband couldn't understand why I liked the other one better. I calmly explained to him why and said I would just like him to consider it. Ultimately, it comes down to what is available anyways so we may or may not have a choice.

What I found most interesting was that the leasing agent heard that we each picked different layouts and he immediately put us down for the one that my husband chose. That definitely confirmed to me that I needed to submit at that moment and trust my husband's judgement. 

We've been praying for an apartment to open up in December for the move and I'm planning to be put in the one that my husband picked and you know what? Looking again at the pictures and floor plans, I would have to agree with him.

Funny how that happens, right?!

I love my dad...

Sometimes I think it's funny what happens. My dad and I were on the phone. We were talking about my cousin moving and such and how she probably won't get married out here since she's moving next weekend. My dad was originally going to come and see me when he went to her wedding since I live an hour away from her. Anyways, my dad then decides to ask me the famous question..."So, when are you going to get married?"

I love you, dad. That has been on my to-do list forever and all of my friends know I am wedding-crazy and want to get married soooo badly! Especially since I'm positive that I have a keeper on my hands. You see, my dad used to always tell me to "slow down" in relationships and to really test it out first to see if we should get married. Now, he is really wanting to know when it will happen because he really likes the guy I'm with! This, folks is a definite first in my dating history. My dad has never thought that anyone was good enough for me and he thinks that Phil and I should be on our way to getting married!

I find it a little ironic. After my last big break-up my dad and I prayed for God to bring me a quality guy. I made out a list with all of the good qualities I was looking for that I would not budge on. I prayed over that list and over the guy that God would bring me, namely, my future husband. What I didn't know is that my dad was praying for the exact same thing only that the next guy God would bring me would be my husband!

Sure enough, only a couple of weeks afterwards, I started talking to Phil and within a few weeks of talking I was positive that this was it. I had this feeling from God that this is the person that God had in store for me!

As you can imagine, this dating process has been a little crazy considering I want to get married and know that my dad approves (which is a serious feat!) and God laid it all out there. Phil is an amazing man, but likes to take things a little bit slower. I have come to accept that and know that when the time is right, he will pop the question so all I have to do is have faith, keep praying, and be patient...which, unfortunately is not a strong suit of mine at the moment!

It's just so great to hear my dad say that he will give Phil his blessing and my hand whenever he is ready. It means so much to me to know that my dad sees all of the great things that I see. Phil is a wonderful man and I am so lucky to have him in my life. I can't wait to have our relationship move to the next step and I keep praying that it will happen when the time is right.....i may or may not mention something about sooner rather than later when I pray, but I'll never tell!