Happy Husband, Happy Wife

My motto has always been, "Communication is key!" I really believe that communication is so important in all relationships especially when you are married.

Lately, I've been trying to get my husband to communicate with me a little more. Usually, I plan out what errands to run and when and he has his own idea of how things are going to work out. Unfortunately, that doesn't often match up so we both end up frustrated. This happened yesterday so I reminded him that we need to make sure to talk about it before we do things to make sure that both of our needs get met when it comes to time management. And you know what? Last night, he did exactly that.

My husband is on a tight schedule when it comes to his bed time when he works the next day. It doesn't always work out, but when he gets one bad night, it usually leads to another and he ends up feeling awful by the end of the week. When he expressed that he was stressed about getting to bed with what he still needed to get done, I gave him a suggestion on how to do manage the time he had left better. Of course, this is not what he needed, but he didn't tell me that right away.

Imagine my surprise when he told me shortly after our conversation that he was frustrated that I didn't offer to make him a turkey sandwich for lunch. At fist I was taken back a little, but I know he's been making this sandwich with the leftover turkey from Thanksgiving and I have no idea how he makes it so good. I told him that I just didn't want to disappoint him and make something he didn't like. He took that explanation and seemed ok with it, but the more I thought about it, I wasn't.

My husband is not picky about food. As long has he can stand it, he'll eat it. Plus, he just did what I've been asking him to do and telling him how it will make things easier. So, I did what I should have done in the first place and I made his turkey sandwich. 

I'm not sure if he'll like it as much as if he had made it, but I'm sure he'll like it just fine. Most importantly, he appreciated that I took the time to listen to him and make his sandwich.

Unsolicited Advice

The past week or so has been a whirlwind of emotions. We were scared and worried about who was coming into our home. We were happy and excited to be able to get out quickly. We were stressed between packing and moving in a week. And now the emotions are being sorted out and we're figuring it all out.

People have their opinions and I need to not let it get to me. People are telling my mother-in-law that I need to work and get a job so we don't have to live here. It's hurtful and rude. But the truth is, I don't need to get a job. We can afford to rent another apartment or a mortgage. We're living here to save up faster and to be able to take time to find a house.

The realtor said that we should start looking in February. Until then and until we find somewhere we like we're just going to save money so that we have a good down payment and money in the bank as a cushion in case it's needed. We're making a smart decision not to waste our money in renting while we have this incredible opportunity.

Is it hard putting 95% of your things into storage and fitting as much as you can into one small bedroom? Heck yes it is! We have less privacy and for a young, married couple...that's hard. But, it's what we signed up for because we're looking at the bigger picture and not focusing on the now.

My Husband is the Head of the Household

Submission. 

There, I said it. I promised to submit to my husband in our vows because it was important to me, but how often do I submit and let him take the lead on things?

This is what has been on my mind lately.

I'm a strong-willed, opinionated woman. I like to lead and be in control, but this is not the role I'm supposed to take on in our marriage. Likewise, my husband is very calm, yet stubborn and is ok taking a step back. In a nutshell, I have a type A personality and he is type B. Sometimes this makes it difficult for me to stop and let him lead since I like to be the one who initiates things.

I've been feeling a prompting from God that I need to let my husband lead. So, that's exactly what I decided to do...except, that I didn't tell him. Instead, I sat back at Ikea when we couldn't fit the dresser in the car, laid out the options that we could utilize to get it home, and let my husband make the decision. Yes, that took about an hour extra, but I wasn't pushing him to make a decision that he didn't think was best. I encouraged him and told him that I would be happy with whatever he wanted to do.

This past weekend we went apartment hunting. After yet another incident that happened at our current apartment, we made the decision that we are moving and we needed to find a place. So, with my typical list in hand of places to check out, we took all of Saturday after church driving from apartment complex to apartment complex looking at different layouts, floor plans, pricing, and amenities. It was fun for me, but can be a little taxing for my husband.

We found out that we have different opinions on layouts and although we may both like the same ones, inevitably, we will each favor a different floor plan than the other. Again, the prompting began. I could feel God telling me to back down and let my husband make the decision. I silently prayed that God would help us find an apartment that we both liked and that I would be able to submit to my husband even if we chose the one that I liked, but wasn't my favorite.

We drove in to the last place and I had made up my mind that we were going to end up at the complex he liked more in the split-level apartment and not worry about how we would get our furniture up the stairs. I wasn't expecting much from this new place, but was shocked to find out that they were 100% occupied, all utilities are included in the rent, and that they were in our budget.

We sat down, looked at floor plans and talked a long time about the complex. We walked around to see the grounds and amenities and when the leasing agent was getting something from another room, I leaned in and asked my husband what he wanted to do. He said he wanted to put in an application and be put on the waiting list...right then and there. I was shocked. My husband likes to come home, talk about it and think about it for a week or two before we make any decisions. He is not impulsive at all and I could tell that he felt that this was the best place for us.

I decided to go with his lead and we started filling out the applications. Then, the leasing agent asked us which floor plan we liked. Immediately, we each picked a different one *head desk*. Here we go again. My husband couldn't understand why I liked the other one better. I calmly explained to him why and said I would just like him to consider it. Ultimately, it comes down to what is available anyways so we may or may not have a choice.

What I found most interesting was that the leasing agent heard that we each picked different layouts and he immediately put us down for the one that my husband chose. That definitely confirmed to me that I needed to submit at that moment and trust my husband's judgement. 

We've been praying for an apartment to open up in December for the move and I'm planning to be put in the one that my husband picked and you know what? Looking again at the pictures and floor plans, I would have to agree with him.

Funny how that happens, right?!

TV Diet {Update}

Last week I posted that we are cancelling our Netflix streaming at the end of June. The reason? I was completely obsessed. It was a problem and it needed to be fixed ASAP. In the meantime, I wanted to actively watch it less to see if I could get it under control or would cancelling it be the only option for my Netflix obsession.

It's been a week since I've been watching less tv. I no longer watch it while eating my breakfast or dinner and I try to keep it off at night when my husband comes home. I have definitely been more productive and I don't feel as lethargic. I do watch a few shorter shows here and there when I have some downtime, but it's not the main focus of my day anymore.

I really like how I've been feeling with it turned off. I like my husband coming home and telling me that he can tell how much I've accomplished that day. It makes me feel good that I'm not sitting on the couch all day and I'm able to get so much more done.

At this point, I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to cancel it entirely. I do like the option of having it when I've been productive and have some down time. I figure that I'll give it another two weeks to see how much I would like to keep or get rid of it, but in the meantime, I'm enjoying more time with my husband with the tv turned off.

Reality Check

via

My husband and I just cancelled our Netflix streaming. We don't have satellite or cable and we were using Netflix as a way to still have tv and save money. The reality is that I am addicted to watching tv. I watch it in the morning while eating breakfast, while sewing, when I'm tired, hungry, and bored. We even watch it while eating dinner and I continue watching pretty much until bed time. It's a serious problem and we've decided that it is time to cut back.

We'll still have Netflix until June 22nd, but we are going to start making a conscious effort to watch less. Both my husband and I use it as a way to escape and that's not what we are looking to accomplish.

We are hoping that by giving up Netflix, we will be able to spend more time doing more productive things and have more time to spend together doing things that will build our relationship stronger.

It's going to be a huge adjustment, but I think the investment will be well worth it. Plus, we'll be saving $8 a month!

Saving Money

It's no surprise that my new role of being a stay-at-home wife was a little unexpected. It kind of just came out of nowhere and happened suddenly. Despite these things, we both feel that it is a huge blessing for me to be able to stay at home.

The most difficult challenge from me working to not is definitely changing our spending habits. Going from two incomes to one is a bit of a change. Of course, we have done our budget and should be able to make it work, but there are some things that we are changing to make things more comfortable.

•  Couponing. I had started this a couple of months before leaving my job and it has really paid off! I'm not  a crazy-couponer (yet), but I do love to get a good deal and save some money.
• Driving. I make sure limit my driving when I run errands. I make sure that if there are places that I need to go and they are further away, I wait and get them done while I am in that area so I don't waste gas.
• Dining out. Has been cut back majorly. We invite people over, if possible, instead of going out to eat.
• Clothes shopping. Everyone needs new clothes at some point or another. I was able to score some name brand clothes (gap, american eagle, etc.) at the Goodwill for less than $5 per piece! I know many people frown upon this, but there is a really nice, clean, and kept up store that I only shop at!

These are just some of the ways that I am able to save money to make things easier on our budget. I will be going into more detail about these things and if you have any questions, please let me know!

It's Official!

I am a stay-at-home wife! At least I will be for the next six months!

I know many of you have questions on why I left teaching, but please know that it was the best decision for myself and for my marriage.

Yes, I am ok with our decision. In fact, I am thrilled to be able to take this time and focus on myself, my husband, my business, and our apartment. I love being at home and taking care of everything and having the energy to do so. I am considering this to be a blessing from God!

I do have a job lined up for late summer/early fall that I am really looking forward to. In the meantime, we will be making a lot of changes financially to be able to afford me being home so if we can't go out as much right now, that's ok. I hope you all understand.

Phil and I are really excited about this new opportunity and are looking forward to this change.

I can tell my husband loves me when....

He puts on Glee radio just because he knows I like it.

He lets me spend too much on glasses because he knows it's so hard to find frames to fit right.

He does the dishes, laundry, and takes out the trash without complaining.

He listens to me go on and on and on about teaching, sewing, my cricut, and any and every show I watch.

He brings in all of the groceries every time we go shopping.

He changes the date on the calendar when I'm gone so that when I come back it's right.

He lets me use his iPod touch on a daily basis to play games instead of taking it to work with him.

He explains politics and the weather to me and puts them in terms I can understand.

He brings me ice cream when I'm not feeling well.

He takes off of work to go to the wrist doctor with me so I don't have to do it alone.

He puts gas in my car for me.

He drives so I can sit back and relax.

He sets his alarm on Sundays and sweetly wakes me up for church.

My husband is so incredible, it blows my mind every day. I thank God all.the.time for bringing him into my life!

Growing Up

Sometimes in life you have to make hard decisions in order to grow.

When I was twenty-three I decided to leave my home of California and move to Virginia. My dad was moving to Texas and I had moved out from my mom's house. The decision to move to Virginia didn't come lightheartedly. I knew this was what God wanted for my life and when I had less than three days to get as much as I could into a suitcase and carry-on bag I took it as a new opportunity to grow.

I was a live-in nanny in Virginia for a year and a half. While living in Virginia I sent my fiance of almost three years packing. It was a life changing decision that I will never regret. Through the power and grace of God, it didn't take long to heal that wound. In fact, I began looking online at a couple of Christian dating websites to see if there was anyone out there worth pursuing. On April 15th, 2008 I "met" who is now my husband.

Six months into our relationship, God was nudging me to move up to Maryland. It was beyond scary as I found a new job, apartment, and got the first real taste of living on my own. I always had thought that when that day came, I would be closer to my parents and be able to go see them for support. With my parents both being across the country, it was a difficult transition.

I stayed in contact with my parents through phone calls and was able to visit my mom twice in California, but the reasons why I chose to move across the country had not changed. Both trips gave me a lot of clarity and for that I am very thankful.

I have been struggling with a very personal issue for years. It involves someone close to me and recently, I have had to make some difficult decisions. I love this person a lot, but in order for me to grow I need to put that relationship on hold for a while until trust can be regained.

It may cause tension between my family and I for a while, but I was very honest and have tried to work this out for a long time. Right now I need to focus on my relationship with God, myself, my marriage, and my career.

I am hoping this will work out over time and will be in prayer over the situation, but I can not allow someone to continue to tear me down. I can't control how the other person reacts, but I can control my reactions. At this point I am taking responsibility by doing the right thing to protect me and my marriage.



I'm Married...

I will work on changing my blog name when we come back from the honeymoon, but for now we are packing to head over to Jamaica tomorrow!

I will post more pics as soon as I get them....

My dad walking me down the aisle...

Mr. and Mrs. Philip Reese!

It's All About Perspective

In life things happen. Good things, bad things, weird things...you name it, it can happen, but what I'm learning is that it's all about perspective.

Take Friday, for example. I woke up in a fantastic mood, ready to go about my day. As I was about to leave to go to work I noticed that something was different and that someone had, in fact, broken into my car! There was no damage and nothing was stolen.

In that moment I was not angry, but thankful. Thankful that I have a job with caring people who are understanding. Thankful that I have a fiance who is willing to let me call him at work and listen to me when I need it. Thankful that his parents are out here and are so helpful and supportive.

My car situation led to my alarm getting fixed (after months of it being broken) and the decision to get all of the doors working to be able to be locked with the alarm system (I had manual locks). It ended up being a blessing in disguise.

In life things happen and sometimes they can't be controlled, but it's all about how you view the situation and handle yourself. I think that I do a much better job at this now than I used to, but there are plenty of times where I do not handle myself well and let my emotions get the best of me.

Marriage fellowship tonight hit home to me. It's about trading places with your spouse (or soon-to-be) and being empathetic to their needs. It's about perspective and not assuming the worst possible thing and choosing to listen to them and try to understand where they are coming from and why. It's about love and what that really means and being their best friend.

I have a lot to work on when it comes to this, but I'm going to try to put things in perspective more often and think about how much it really matters in the grand scheme of things.

I want what I can't have

It seems to happen that I can't have what I want the most. Right now that is two things...a new apartment and to get married. I am completely ready for both of these, mind you, but it looks like they are both on hold for the moment.

I went apartment searching yesterday since I was home from work and feeling better. It seems that my price range yields some very interesting apartments...either too small, run down, or in a shady neighborhood. At this point I am starting to consider my current apartment a luxury one. I asked Phil's mom to go with me to one yesterday. At the end of it our conversation went as follows:

Me: I guess I must have really high expectations or something.
Mom R.: No, I just think you have expectations in general.
Me: Well, at least now I know I'm not crazy!

Ya, my expectations are things like a decent sized apartment that has been well-maintained, nothing fancy, and in a decent neighborhood. I guess that's too much to ask for right now.

On the marriage front it seems to be at a stand-still. I have been ready to get married since before Phil and I started dating. He, on the other hand, is not. This has to be one of the most frustrating things to deal with ever. I am completely obsessed ready to get married and he could seriously wait another few years. We are working on a compromise, but it's hard not to want a ring right now.

I feel like I am doing everything I can to show him that it will be a really good thing for us, but I feel like I am wearing him down and that's not what I want. Right now I am trying to focus on not talking about it and not stressing about it hoping that he will do it in his own time. I just wish that his time was closer to my time...which may or may not have been six months ago, but still. Oh well...it's  he's worth the wait. I love him so incredibly much and know that he is the one God has for me.

Gotta just keep praying.