So What Wednesday

  This week, I'm saying So What if...

•  We're keeping my in-laws in the dark with my fertility appointments. I've tried to open up and I'm told that I should "wait until you've been trying a year" no matter what. Yep, even after I mentioned that I have PCOS and the doctor doesn't think I ovulate at all. No ovulation = 0% chance of pregnancy.
• I was actually excited for my HSG. I figured that there was no guarantee of pain or something bad and it gets me that much closer to getting to know what our options are!
• I come across as super put-together and organized at church when my apartment is a hot mess. Hey, it's a work in progress.
• I got dressed to go to the gym and I decided to sew and take a nap instead. My allergies make me super sleepy and my allergy meds are no longer working.
• I want to like yoga a lot, but I don't. It's ok, but I find it super difficult for me. I do it because it's good for me, but when the yoga teacher says things like, "The universe and animals know when you're at peace because they sense it and will do something to disrupt your inner peace", I can't handle that.

Being Productive

Let's just put it out there...I work part-time.

I feel so blessed that we are able to have me work part-time and that I get the opportunity to have more free time. It has been especially great with planning the wedding. I have great availability to be able to meet with vendors, go to dress fittings, and get all of our DIY wedding projects done.

There seems to be only one major problem....

I am exhausted at the end of my workday.

In fact, I am exhausted right now and I have been since 8 o'clock this morning! This leaves me wanting to go home, take a nap, and lounge around all afternoon and evening because I'm tired.

I get off of work every day at 12:30 pm. I go home, eat lunch, and run any errands that I can muster to do in the freezing cold (which usually isn't much).

We had a great sermon this past Sunday on being the best you can be to set a great example for everyone. This got me thinking that the best me is one that is productive and doesn't sit on the couch all.the.time.

Yesterday was the first day that I put this into practice. After work, I had my final dress fitting to go to. When I came home I allowed myself to go on the internet for a little while to catch-up on things, but made myself get up and get stuff done for a while.

I managed to get the gifts from the bridal shower out of the bags, threw away the mass amount of tissue paper that was there, folded up the gift bags, organized the gifts, spot cleaned the couch, vacuumed a bit, and worked on my centerpieces.

By seven o'clock, I was exhausted! It felt good to get things out of the way and not just wait until Phil comes over to help. I mean, he works over 40 hours a week and has a 2 hour commute each way to work!

I am hoping to be able to keep this up and organize my apartment and have it all ready for him to move in after the wedding.

Does anyone have any tips on staying productive and awake when you don't like coffee?

Stressed.

Stressed. Overwhelmed.

That is exactly how I feel. There's too much going on and everyone expects so much from me right now. I can't handle it. I feel like I'm drowning and there's no way out.

Phil has been super supportive and I thank God for him. I couldn't do this without him.

Tuckered out

I am now officially a teacher! It's been great so far and I've had a lot of fun, but one thing is sure. Teaching is so incredibly tiring. My job no longer stops the second I walk out of the door and into the car. No way! Now, it's going home to grade papers, prepare for tomorrow's lesson, and figure out lesson plans for next week to turn in at the end of this week. I'm super busy lately.

One good thing is that I'm making sure to take out some time just for myself each day. I like to do it before Phil gets home so that I can focus on relaxing instead of wanting to tell him about my day and get things done. I still do not have internet at home and that is becoming more of a difficult thing. I stop by his house every afternoon to make sure and check my email in case parents are trying to get a hold of me. It will be easier when we decide to get me internet (probably not until January) because then I can go home after work and do whatever I need to do there. In the meantime, I have to unload the work at school, load it up to go to Phil's, unload it to get it done, and load it back up to leave. Sometimes I even have to finish it at home and unload/load it up there too and I have a lot of books y'all.

I did manage to make it to the gym today to see my trainer and I'm completely exhausted. I want to work in the gym some way, but I've been so tired when I wake up I have no idea what day it is! I'm hoping I will adjust to the new schedule quickly because I'm beat!

I am very thankful things have gone well for the first couple of days and I hope it continues!

*yawn*

I've been a little less than thrilled lately. There have been a few reasons why:

--I'm getting over a cold I got from the kids. I'm exhausted because of it and feel blah.

--My job has been difficult this week. Three kids and 50 hours for the week when they all want to do different things. The oldest thinks that she deserves respect and that should come by letting her make all of the decisions and do whatever she wants. Ummm, you're only nine years old...how about giving me some respect instead of being a complete pill thank you very much!

--The biggest reason is that I graduate with my bachelor's degree in January! Sounds great right? It is, but the problem is that the Social Studies/Education degree I am getting does not have the right classes to teach in my state :( I have tried alternative ways to getting a certification either by a Master's degree or resident teaching certification and it is not going to work unless I quit my job which I totally need to survive.

I've been holding up pretty well, but the exhaustion of being sick is totally getting to me. I have a softball tournament tomorrow (if it doesn't get rained out) and although I am looking forward to playing, I wouldn't mind if it was post-poned until Sunday to get some much needed sleep.