Growing Up

Sometimes in life you have to make hard decisions in order to grow.

When I was twenty-three I decided to leave my home of California and move to Virginia. My dad was moving to Texas and I had moved out from my mom's house. The decision to move to Virginia didn't come lightheartedly. I knew this was what God wanted for my life and when I had less than three days to get as much as I could into a suitcase and carry-on bag I took it as a new opportunity to grow.

I was a live-in nanny in Virginia for a year and a half. While living in Virginia I sent my fiance of almost three years packing. It was a life changing decision that I will never regret. Through the power and grace of God, it didn't take long to heal that wound. In fact, I began looking online at a couple of Christian dating websites to see if there was anyone out there worth pursuing. On April 15th, 2008 I "met" who is now my husband.

Six months into our relationship, God was nudging me to move up to Maryland. It was beyond scary as I found a new job, apartment, and got the first real taste of living on my own. I always had thought that when that day came, I would be closer to my parents and be able to go see them for support. With my parents both being across the country, it was a difficult transition.

I stayed in contact with my parents through phone calls and was able to visit my mom twice in California, but the reasons why I chose to move across the country had not changed. Both trips gave me a lot of clarity and for that I am very thankful.

I have been struggling with a very personal issue for years. It involves someone close to me and recently, I have had to make some difficult decisions. I love this person a lot, but in order for me to grow I need to put that relationship on hold for a while until trust can be regained.

It may cause tension between my family and I for a while, but I was very honest and have tried to work this out for a long time. Right now I need to focus on my relationship with God, myself, my marriage, and my career.

I am hoping this will work out over time and will be in prayer over the situation, but I can not allow someone to continue to tear me down. I can't control how the other person reacts, but I can control my reactions. At this point I am taking responsibility by doing the right thing to protect me and my marriage.



Dazed and Confused

In just 3 1/2 short months I will be out of a job. I had made the decision to not pursue teaching based on the facts that it would take me 2-3 more years in a Master's program to be able to teach in the public school system here in Maryland plus any additional time getting the pre-requisites, if any, needed.

During the past 2 months I have sent out about 13 resumes for any possible job I could think of. So far, I have heard nothing and am getting a little discouraged. I felt positive that pursuing Human Resources would be the best thing, but seeing as I can't seem to find a job in that field...maybe not. I've also been applying for office jobs and have heard nothing from them either.

The more I think about it the more teaching really seems to be what I want to do. I want to have summers off with my kids and to be able to watch them on snow days, spring breaks, and when they are sick. I want to be able to work a shorter day, grade homework, come up with projects, give tests, and do all things teaching has to offer.

I guess right now what I'm feeling is very stuck and confused. I'm not sure how to support myself through the Master's program if that is what I need to do to teach. I am praying that God has a plan and will work it out for me to work for a private school while I take a couple of courses to be certified. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens from here...