Moving In

I've been a little busy lately. Unpacking with a 7 month old is a little difficult, but I love our new house and how it is starting to feel like our home. Living with my in-laws for a little over a year was definitely not idea, but it put us in the position to own our home and for that, I'm grateful.

We're still trying to get into a routine with our little guy, so for now we're rolling with the punches and loving that he's ours. Every day is different and that's ok.

There have been some positive changes with living here! My husband is home an average of 30 minutes earlier and is coming home early on Fridays starting tomorrow! He's also signed up to be able to work from home and we're hoping that he'll be able to start that once every two weeks as of next week. This means he would be off work that day at 2:30pm and be here to spend more time with me and Matthew.

I love that this new house (and the location) has given us new opportunities to be together more. With his commute being so long, it's nice to have more time together and Matthew lights up when his daddy walks through the door. It's seriously so cute!

We're all adjusting here nicely and constantly running to the store, unpacking, or cleaning up around the house. We're very blessed.

Our New House

I've been a little more M.I.A over here lately (not that I end up posting too much as of late) and it's because I've been super busy with our new house!

We closed the day after our anniversary (what a great gift!) and we went straight to painting for two days and my mother-in-law did a lot of cleaning. Our house was pretty much move-in-ready (for the most part), but as with all houses we have already had some unexpected costs.

Our storage locker that held most of our belongings for the past 15 months was an outside unit, so with the weather out here, a ton of our belongings were so molded we had to throw them away. We still have plenty of things and have been blessed with Phil's family that has offered us some extra furnishings to get by until we choose to upgrade them. We've had to be a little creative with seating since we currently have no couch or dining room table so we've been working with two bar stools, the recliner in Matthew's room, and an Ikea Poang chair without the cover (since that was molded).

We've also chosen to replace the appliances and the toilet in the hallway bathroom. The dishwasher was unsalvageable due to the lack of upkeep and was so disgusting. The washer was able to be cleaned, but left the clothes really wet after the extra spin cycle, and the dryer was a fire-hazard with the lint caked in under the trap, the bearings going out, and the smell of something burning when running. We also got an upright freezer for the basement for extra food storage and that makes me one happy girl!

Even though we've had unexpected costs (thank you, Lord for our tax return!), we're still very happy with our new place. We have a lot of furnishing to do over time, but I'm so glad to be able to raise my son here and have a place for our little family to call our own.

Refreshed

This weekend was exactly what I've needed. After having way too many melt downs and feeling so overwhelmed last week, we finally had a weekend where at the end of it, I feel calm and refreshed. No, this weekend wasn't without a fussy baby or anything, but it was still just what I've needed.

I've been working on telling people what I need. This weekend, I told my mother-in-law that I needed her to watch Matthew Saturday for a few hours. I needed to get out and I needed to spend some time with my husband. Thankfully, she obliged and we made a plan that they would watch him in the evening and even do his bed time routine so we could be out for a few hours.

Saturday was awesome. We woke up, got Matthew ready for the day and put him down for his first nap. It's his shortest nap of the day so I figured that we could let him sleep and afterwards, go get his picture taken with Santa. After he woke up, we fed him and that's what we set out to do.

He slept a total of 20-ish minutes in the car and wouldn't go back to sleep when we got there due to all of the excitement going on. We decided to go to the Bass Pro Shop to get his picture taken since they do a free 4x6 photo and I refused to spend $30 on pictures, especially if he cried through it (and let's be real, there was a good chance of that happening). When we got there the line was so long so we grabbed a "Bass Pass" to come back in an hour and bypass the line. Of course, by the time we came back, Matthew was super tired and fussy, but with the help of his paci, he did a great job for the picture!

While we were there, we even picked a trip we were planning on taking for our anniversary and got some great incentives with it! After the pictures, it was time to feed him and go home.
Saturday evening, Phil and I were able to go out to dinner. We ended up at Longhorn Steakhouse and it was so nice to have a dinner out that we didn't need to switch between who holds the baby and who eats. We were able to connect again just by talking and spending a few hours together.

Sunday, we ended up going to church and to a family Christmas party. We did a ton of laundry in between and watched Elf while doing chores.

Our weekend was nothing fancy, but it was so nice to be able to spend time together as a family and also just with my husband.

Matthew has an Upper GI Scan on Tuesday (Christmas Eve) which should take up to 6 hours. Please pray that the test goes well and that maybe we can have some answers on what's going on with our little man. It should be able to tell us if he has reflux and can also help to see the small intestine and if there is a problem with his stomach. We're praying this test (with the contrast dye) will go smoothly and that they won't want to follow it up with a scope (which he would have to be put under for).

Unsolicited Advice

The past week or so has been a whirlwind of emotions. We were scared and worried about who was coming into our home. We were happy and excited to be able to get out quickly. We were stressed between packing and moving in a week. And now the emotions are being sorted out and we're figuring it all out.

People have their opinions and I need to not let it get to me. People are telling my mother-in-law that I need to work and get a job so we don't have to live here. It's hurtful and rude. But the truth is, I don't need to get a job. We can afford to rent another apartment or a mortgage. We're living here to save up faster and to be able to take time to find a house.

The realtor said that we should start looking in February. Until then and until we find somewhere we like we're just going to save money so that we have a good down payment and money in the bank as a cushion in case it's needed. We're making a smart decision not to waste our money in renting while we have this incredible opportunity.

Is it hard putting 95% of your things into storage and fitting as much as you can into one small bedroom? Heck yes it is! We have less privacy and for a young, married couple...that's hard. But, it's what we signed up for because we're looking at the bigger picture and not focusing on the now.

Growing Up

Sometimes in life you have to make hard decisions in order to grow.

When I was twenty-three I decided to leave my home of California and move to Virginia. My dad was moving to Texas and I had moved out from my mom's house. The decision to move to Virginia didn't come lightheartedly. I knew this was what God wanted for my life and when I had less than three days to get as much as I could into a suitcase and carry-on bag I took it as a new opportunity to grow.

I was a live-in nanny in Virginia for a year and a half. While living in Virginia I sent my fiance of almost three years packing. It was a life changing decision that I will never regret. Through the power and grace of God, it didn't take long to heal that wound. In fact, I began looking online at a couple of Christian dating websites to see if there was anyone out there worth pursuing. On April 15th, 2008 I "met" who is now my husband.

Six months into our relationship, God was nudging me to move up to Maryland. It was beyond scary as I found a new job, apartment, and got the first real taste of living on my own. I always had thought that when that day came, I would be closer to my parents and be able to go see them for support. With my parents both being across the country, it was a difficult transition.

I stayed in contact with my parents through phone calls and was able to visit my mom twice in California, but the reasons why I chose to move across the country had not changed. Both trips gave me a lot of clarity and for that I am very thankful.

I have been struggling with a very personal issue for years. It involves someone close to me and recently, I have had to make some difficult decisions. I love this person a lot, but in order for me to grow I need to put that relationship on hold for a while until trust can be regained.

It may cause tension between my family and I for a while, but I was very honest and have tried to work this out for a long time. Right now I need to focus on my relationship with God, myself, my marriage, and my career.

I am hoping this will work out over time and will be in prayer over the situation, but I can not allow someone to continue to tear me down. I can't control how the other person reacts, but I can control my reactions. At this point I am taking responsibility by doing the right thing to protect me and my marriage.



I Can't Wait!!!

My sister is on the plane AS WE SPEAK and will be here in a couple of hours! I can't wait to see her and to spend time with her. She is the first person in my family who has travelled to see me so it makes it that much more special.

Seeing as we don't have too much time to go sight-seeing (due to the last minute wedding details) Phil and I are going to try to take her to Washington DC this Sunday so she can experience that as well. I love DC and it holds a special place in my heart because that is where Phil and I had our first official "date."

I just can't wait to pick her up from the airport! Phil and I are taking her to dinner tonight and she is going to be hanging out with me until the wedding. I was told that I could take her to meet and help with my classes one day next week and I think that both she and my students will enjoy that.

Right now I'm just waiting for Phil's mom to get here so we can leave for the airport!

Sister-Time!

Planning a wedding with your family out of state can be a little difficult. Don't get me wrong, I love planning the wedding, but sometimes I wish that my mom and sisters could be here to experience it all with me. I am fortunate enough that Phil's mom has stepped in and has gone to every dress fitting and venue meeting with me and I am so thankful for her.

The fact is, my mom and sisters live almost 3,000 miles away and I miss them. My mom and one sister are coming out the morning of the wedding due to their work and school schedules, but my other sister is a bridesmaid so she has to be out here for the rehearsal the night before. We have been planning on having her come out the Thursday before the wedding, but we were both disappointed that she wouldn't be able to come to the bachelorette party and hang out.

Last week things changed. Her schedule opened up and has allowed for her to come out early! I just booked the flight and will get to pick her up on the 16th! I will have a week and a half to have "sister time" with her and she will be able to come to the bachelorette party, meet the girls, help out with the little odds and ends that are left!

And...in March, my other sister is coming for a week visit during her spring break from college! I am so excited to be able to see my sisters this year and have them visit. The past couple of years, Phil and I have been able to make it to California, but this year we won't be able to swing it with the wedding so I am really looking forward to them coming out. I am planning a couple of DC trips and to show them around. Who knows, maybe we'll go to the Inner Harbor in Baltimore and check that out...and while we're at it...Gettysburg is pretty close!

Family

Over the past few years my life has been thrown through more loops than I can imagine. I am really at a great place and it took a lot of time and perserverance to get where I am today. Looking back there are so many things that I should have done differently. I hurt my family and that is something that haunts me every day. There is nothing I want more than to mend things with my family and to be apart of their lives.

Throughout these years I have been fighting to regain the trust that was lost and it has been at a standstill. The only difference is that I am on good terms with my dad. My sister contacted me and said she wants me apart of her life, but my step-mom said that I'm not a good influence. This is by far the most hurtful thing I have had to deal with. I have completely turned my life around since everything happened seven years ago. I am a regular church attender and for a while worked with the youth ministries. I am a nanny and am a role model every day for the three kids that are in my care. I have gone back to school and will graduate with a Bachelor's degree in January! I have a great, Christian boyfriend that my dad approves of. I pay my bills, have my own apartment, make good decisions, and really care about others around me.

My dad has expressed nothing more than that he wants me to be apart of the family again, but there is no way that my step-mom is ready yet. I just wish she would get to know me so that she can see the person I have become and all of the many accomplishments that I've achieved.

I can only pray and in faith know that God will turn this situation around. Please keep me in your prayers too.