Friday, July 15, 2011

Growing Up

Sometimes in life you have to make hard decisions in order to grow.

When I was twenty-three I decided to leave my home of California and move to Virginia. My dad was moving to Texas and I had moved out from my mom's house. The decision to move to Virginia didn't come lightheartedly. I knew this was what God wanted for my life and when I had less than three days to get as much as I could into a suitcase and carry-on bag I took it as a new opportunity to grow.

I was a live-in nanny in Virginia for a year and a half. While living in Virginia I sent my fiance of almost three years packing. It was a life changing decision that I will never regret. Through the power and grace of God, it didn't take long to heal that wound. In fact, I began looking online at a couple of Christian dating websites to see if there was anyone out there worth pursuing. On April 15th, 2008 I "met" who is now my husband.

Six months into our relationship, God was nudging me to move up to Maryland. It was beyond scary as I found a new job, apartment, and got the first real taste of living on my own. I always had thought that when that day came, I would be closer to my parents and be able to go see them for support. With my parents both being across the country, it was a difficult transition.

I stayed in contact with my parents through phone calls and was able to visit my mom twice in California, but the reasons why I chose to move across the country had not changed. Both trips gave me a lot of clarity and for that I am very thankful.

I have been struggling with a very personal issue for years. It involves someone close to me and recently, I have had to make some difficult decisions. I love this person a lot, but in order for me to grow I need to put that relationship on hold for a while until trust can be regained.

It may cause tension between my family and I for a while, but I was very honest and have tried to work this out for a long time. Right now I need to focus on my relationship with God, myself, my marriage, and my career.

I am hoping this will work out over time and will be in prayer over the situation, but I can not allow someone to continue to tear me down. I can't control how the other person reacts, but I can control my reactions. At this point I am taking responsibility by doing the right thing to protect me and my marriage.

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