Saturday, May 23, 2009

On Couple's buying

I love couple's buying. If you don't know what it is, it's when you and your significant other start buying things together. To me, it means there is love, support, and commitment there and it makes me so happy. So far, with our couple's buying we have purchased a Wii and Wii fit and an air mattress! I know it doesn't sound like much, but it's a start.

I am super excited to have an air mattress because now I will have a place for people to sleep if they ever decide to come over to my all I need is a house guest. Any takers?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Hair dilemma

I love my hair straightener, or rather I did until it didn't work so well. It was a pink Iso straightener that I got in Virginia less than a year and a half ago. It was great, but over time started to not work as well. Don't get me wrong, it worked, but it took more time and didn't get my hair as smooth. Fast forward to last weekend where I went into my bag to do my hair for church only to find that one of the plates had chipped :(

Secretly I was looking for an excuse to buy a new one, but seeing as the first one cost $100, I wasn't exactly in a hurry to replace it since it did work. Plus, the stress of looking up reviews, how much do I want to spend, thank you. Alas, since it broke this past weekend, I have been researching new straighteners and all that jazz. If you know anything about my wonderful boyfriend, you will know that I can not make a purchase like that without consulting consumer reports and researching many reviews before he is satisfied. I love him and respect his opinion, plus I am incredibly indecisive and need his assistance.

Earlier in the week we took a trip to Sally's Beauty Supply to look. My thinking being, "It's a beauty supply store. Professionals shop there, right? Shouldn't they have some great stuff?" After speaking with the sales woman there who strongly recommended a Tool Science 1" Nano Silver yada, yada, yada (the red and black one) we decided to get it. Well, the first day I used it I was less than impressed. My hair looked a little dry and not super fabulous. I thought it was that I had put a little hair spray in it the day before, so that must be it...not so much. I tried it again with clean hair and it did the same thing...bummer. Yesterday I tried once again thinking it was a fluke and I was over-exaggerating, but it left me with flyaways and wouldn't heat up right...and this was only the third use! Needless to say, I returned it immediately.

Today, after more searching online, we went over to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and purchased a Babyliss Pro 1" Porcelain Ceramic straightener. I am hopeful that this one does the trick. Most of the Babyliss products have great reviews on and the sales woman said that another customer told her that her stylist recommends that brand highly. *fingers crossed*

I'm really not that picky. I just want the basics, no static or frizz, straightens and curls hair, and leaves it soft and smooth. Really, is that too much to ask? I think not.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


So, once again I have decided to try to lose weight. It's an on-going battle with me as I have good days and really, really bad ones. I think I've done pretty decently for the past two days.

Yesterday I had an iced tea (99 cents from Dunkin Donuts!), apple pop tarts, subway chicken breast sandwich for lunch and dinner, half a bag of baked lays, and soda with lunch. Not too bad.

Today I had three of those little pankcakes with light syrup, an apple, cheese quesadilla, string cheese, and a bowl of honey nut cheerios for a snack.

This is much better than my bad days of ice cream for breakfast, cookie dough for snacks, cookies, and a chocolate shake from chick-fil-a....ya, not so great lol.

I also walked for 11.5 minutes on the treadmill today, I know it's not much, but it's something. I've been playing softball on the weekends and this past weekend we also played a lot of volleyball and whiffle ball while we were in Virginia so I've been a lot more active.

I checked my weight on the wii fit today and it said I've lost another 0.2 lbs from last week-ish! I just have to keep it up. And I so love my boyfriend for giving me a judging look when I dished up a huge bowl of ice cream the other night...I only ate half of it :)

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Positivity People, Positivity

The last few days have been a little...ummm...rough. I've decided that no matter what happens, there is always something good going on. Even if the something good is tiny, it's still something good. I need to focus on the positives and get the negative thoughts and anxiety out. I am trusting in God 100% to get me through it all. Sometimes live is overwhelming and the only way to get through it is to look up and know that God has it all under control.

I just signed a 6 month lease today for my apartment. It starts in July and although it's a little nerve-wrecking, it's a good thing. I need to learn to love my apartment and the things I have, not just see it as "not good enough." I am truly blessed for everything and everyone in my life. Things aren't always easy, but you can't just give up when things get hard.

Monday, May 11, 2009


I have really good days and really bad days. Sometimes it's just too much. I definitely felt that way on and off this weekend. It's just hard to get through and when those times hit I can either move on positively or get really down.

I have a lot of insecurities at the moment. Today was definitely better, but I feel as though Satan is coming after me with both barrels loaded. There's really no reason why I feel the way I do, but it happens. I need God to get me through this one. It's a lot for Phil to handle and he is so incredible, but my strength needs to come from God. He gives me comfort and security. I don't know how I am going to get through this all, but I do have God in control and an amazing man by my side who always tells me how great I am and how much he loves me.

I have more than I could ask for.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Exhaustion and Irrational Fears

I'm exhausted. I feel like I can never get enough done. My apartment will never be clean enough, I will never be able to start my career, and I will never get married to the person I love and be a mother. These are the thoughts that have been plaguing my mind lately. I know they are irrational, but sometimes I just can't get past them.

My apartment is an older apartment with old linoleum. I can mop it, sweep it, and vacuum it, but it never looks clean. Phil will tell me that, "At least it looks shiny." Shiny is nice, but it's so dingy it always looks dirty, not to mention the fact that whenever I do mop it, something falls on it immediately after it's clean. Oh well.

Space is also an issue. It's a small apartment and it suits me just fine until I want everything put away. There's just not enough storage and I can't even put nails in the wall because the drywall cracks. Help!

I don't know what to do about starting my career. It looks like I will be in school another two years for my Master's degree before I can even start teaching. Will it ever happen? And I might just have to be a high school Social Studies teacher....because I love history. Apparently it's going to happen and I will just have to learn all about it.

On the marriage front I have had two, count them, two failed engagements. Yes, calling them off was the best thing, but it gets hard when you want something so badly and there is no end in sight. I love Phil so much, but we aren't even in a position to think about getting engaged, let alone married right now. He needs a good job and with the economy the way it is and the fact that he is in the geography/GIS/cartography line of work, there aren't a whole bunch of jobs opening up right now. Even so, I don't think he would pop the question any time soon. As much as I would love it, he has to be ready and we're just not there yet despite the many, many people who think we're really great together. Seriously, random people ask all the friggin' time if we are married and why we aren't.

Well because of the previous thought this just leads me to think I will never have kids. There really is no reason to think this, but I do all the same.

I realize all of these things are irrational, but can't help it. I'm insecure and exhausted. I'm tired of wanting these things and not feeling as though I have them or even will. I know that God tells me it is all going to happen and I know it will happen in his time, but I long for a husband and I love Phil. He is the best thing that has happened to me. My dad approves, everyone likes him, and he's truly amazing. I just need to be more secure and trust in God.

I need a nap.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

An accidental three day weekend!

Ok, so it might not have been that great to start off with, but it happened none the less. I had gotten used to working full days Monday-Thursdays 8am-6pm with the kids for two weeks after we got back from California. It's hard work, but I love having Fridays off to spend with Phil since he works on Saturdays. It gives us some extra "do whatever we want" time and I truly love it!

I did have a week or maybe two with my Monday-Friday schedule and volunteering at a school on the days I go in late since then, but apparently this week was destined to be Monday-Thursday with Friday being off.

It started on Monday. I was called in an hour early to come and get M. She was staying home from school with strep and she had a stomach virus over the weekend. When I went to pick up D from school, I found out he had the stomach virus and while we were picking up Morgan's Rx from the grocery store, he got sick :( After his parents took him to the dr.'s office that night we found out that he too had strep.Luckily the oldest hasn't come down with anything as of yet and neither has the mom.

This brings me to how I got yesterday off. I woke up at 4:30am feeling really sick. I waited until 5:45am before I called off per Phil's suggestion. Yes, indeed, I have the stomach virus. Luckily it is a 24 hour bug and I am much better today! Yesterday was awful and Phil took me to the dr.'s to make sure I didn't have strep. It was surprisingly cheap for not having insurance. It only cost $55! My Rx was free...thank you Giant for your free antibiotic offer, as I happily obliged.

Also, since my sister was diagnosed about two years ago with type 2 diabetes, I have been a little paranoid seeing as I am about 30 pounds heavier than she is. The doctor found no sugar in the test and said I am not diabetic! They weren't even supposed to check that, but God loves to do little things like that to let you know he cares. I'm super estatic I don't have diabetes.

As for today, I have some grocery shopping to do, maybe some vaccuuming, moping, or light cleaning. I don't want to over do it with how I was yesterday. I am excited to be picking up some fruit and salad at the market and am loving that soooo many things are 10 for $10!