Thursday, November 29, 2012

I'm Not Always Right

I just spoke with a friend about my frustrations. She was quick to remind me that things aren't always the way they seem. She told me that I need to focus more on the positives and not the negatives of the situation. Of course, that's easier said than done, but still very true.

I emailed my husband this and realized that the problem is more than likely me. I'm not used to having someone trying to help me.

I moved out at 18 after having a lot of issues with my parents on both sides. It was one of the hardest things I've encountered, but it made me learn to figure things out on my own. Since I was out on my own earlier than planned, I didn't have a mother-figure to teach me a lot of things that most girls my age knew. Both of my parents were still there for me, but it wasn't in the same way as I had before.

Sometimes I get so caught up in doing things my way, I get upset when other people try to help. Would it have killed me to add in the extra can of beans? No. I just couldn't get past the uncertainty of how that would change the recipe and servings and it made me mad.

Maybe the reason why we're staying here isn't just about saving money to get into a house. Maybe it's more about learning to do things a different way and accept help.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Happy Husband, Happy Wife

My motto has always been, "Communication is key!" I really believe that communication is so important in all relationships especially when you are married.

Lately, I've been trying to get my husband to communicate with me a little more. Usually, I plan out what errands to run and when and he has his own idea of how things are going to work out. Unfortunately, that doesn't often match up so we both end up frustrated. This happened yesterday so I reminded him that we need to make sure to talk about it before we do things to make sure that both of our needs get met when it comes to time management. And you know what? Last night, he did exactly that.

My husband is on a tight schedule when it comes to his bed time when he works the next day. It doesn't always work out, but when he gets one bad night, it usually leads to another and he ends up feeling awful by the end of the week. When he expressed that he was stressed about getting to bed with what he still needed to get done, I gave him a suggestion on how to do manage the time he had left better. Of course, this is not what he needed, but he didn't tell me that right away.

Imagine my surprise when he told me shortly after our conversation that he was frustrated that I didn't offer to make him a turkey sandwich for lunch. At fist I was taken back a little, but I know he's been making this sandwich with the leftover turkey from Thanksgiving and I have no idea how he makes it so good. I told him that I just didn't want to disappoint him and make something he didn't like. He took that explanation and seemed ok with it, but the more I thought about it, I wasn't.

My husband is not picky about food. As long has he can stand it, he'll eat it. Plus, he just did what I've been asking him to do and telling him how it will make things easier. So, I did what I should have done in the first place and I made his turkey sandwich. 

I'm not sure if he'll like it as much as if he had made it, but I'm sure he'll like it just fine. Most importantly, he appreciated that I took the time to listen to him and make his sandwich.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

When in Rome

That's been my motto for the past few weeks. It's no surprise that living with my in-laws has definitely changed my way of living. My mother-in-law has specific ways of doing things and with us being in her home, we are doing our best to do things her way for the time being. I am very thankful that she is doing her best to be open and accommodating to our needs and preference, but it's still different living with my husband's parents.

We have set days that are "our" laundry days and I cook two days out of the week for everyone. I've been trying to incorporate Mexican Mondays here as dad likes Mexican food, but mom isn't a huge fan. She's willing to try it out and has liked almost everything so far, so we're happy about that.

I'm still working on finding my groove and getting my schedule down. I mostly stay in the bedroom during the day which can be daunting because she doesn't like the tv running during the day and there's less for me to do here since we have a bedroom to take care of, not an entire house/apartment.

I'm trying to find things to fill my time with, but it's kind of hard with wanting to save as much as possible. I'm waiting to see how things go until the end of the year and if I'm still itching to do something, I may apply for a part-time position to get out of the house for a little bit. Of course, I have no idea what I would apply for since my degree is in social science/education and I'm not certified to teach in public schools. Also, all of my recent experience has been with teaching, sewing, and nannying so there's that.

That's what I've been up to and things have been going really well here. It's still an adjustment, but we're all willing to work on making it as comfortable as possible for the time being.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

So What Wednesday

So What Wednesday

This week I'm saying SO WHAT if...
  • I changed my email address only to have to use the old one again because of the unexpected move.
  • I get frustrated that everyone is getting pregnant and we're not. I'm ok with waiting a little longer, but I would like to feel like I have a chance each month, but with my PCOS I don't.
  • I'm having a hard time adjusting to everything.
  • I don't think I'm going to get all of my sewing done on time. I'm sure I will, but it definitely doesn't seem that way now and is completely overwhelming.
  • I'm happy that I was able to be honest with my friend when she texted me. Even if she doesn't want to hear the truth it was important to let her know.
  • I'm still sending her a Christmas card because I care.

Monday, November 12, 2012

The Point of No Return

I've tweeted about this a couple of times before, but I have a friend who chronically cancels on me. Like 50% of the time. And she's often late without a phone call or text. With everything that happened over the past two weeks, things have been crazy and we needed help to move out so fast.

My friend's husband was supposed to come help us move and cancelled the night before because his wife's sister's dog died and they needed to go say goodbye. Yes, that was seriously the reason.

Obviously I was hurt and upset and decided to take a step back from our friendship. 

She texted last week that her dad was in the hospital so I said I would pray for him. I wanted to take a step back, not be cruel or mean. I decided that the space would be good so I didn't check-in with her the rest of the week figuring that she would update me when she was ready.

This past weekend I got a text from her saying that she was upset with me and we ended up having a text-fight. Basically, she told me what a crappy person I am for not checking in on her because of her dad and she told me that no matter what her family comes first and that I was overreacting about the safety of my apartment. And that was that. No matter what I said, it was that family comes first.

I'm disappointed in how it ended. I put in so much time into building this relationship and her husband has been my husband's best friend since elementary school. It's honestly really stupid how it went down, but if that's how she wanted to handle it, then it is what it is.

We have had so much going on with the move and so many things. I don't have time for anything extra that is going to bring me down. This is hard enough as it is.

I am still sending her a Christmas card, but my husband thinks that we've hit the point of no return.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012


I love getting back to comments, but if they are Anonymously posted, there's no way for me to be able to send them an email and talk to them.

Of course, someone decided to comment...

Anonymous said...
Wouldn't you save up even faster if you DID get a job? 

Glad you asked. 

I'm sure many people think that we would save faster if I worked and truthfully, I DO work. I sew and have been working on custom orders and doing craft shows as my job for the time being. Of course, that isn't the same type of income, but I am putting all of that money now into savings after I pay my taxes.

We didn't expect for me to stay at home and we even had a job lined up for me that would start at the end of Summer, but we quickly learned that with me staying at home we SAVED more money than when I was working!


Because when I worked I needed more things so I spent more money. Work clothes, shoes, make-up, and gas were all things that were needed more frequently. I also ended up getting sick from the stress of the job and got bronchitis multiple times in a year. Between the medical bills to get me healthy and the added expenses of everything else, we spent more money than I was bringing home. I was buying more food out from being on the go and the expenses kept adding up.

With me staying home we not only save more money, but my husband is happier and that makes me happier. In fact, when I ask him if he wants me to get a job he tells me "NO!" He knows this is what is best for my health and for our family. Of course, if I needed to work to help out I would, but that's not the case.

Unsolicited Advice

The past week or so has been a whirlwind of emotions. We were scared and worried about who was coming into our home. We were happy and excited to be able to get out quickly. We were stressed between packing and moving in a week. And now the emotions are being sorted out and we're figuring it all out.

People have their opinions and I need to not let it get to me. People are telling my mother-in-law that I need to work and get a job so we don't have to live here. It's hurtful and rude. But the truth is, I don't need to get a job. We can afford to rent another apartment or a mortgage. We're living here to save up faster and to be able to take time to find a house.

The realtor said that we should start looking in February. Until then and until we find somewhere we like we're just going to save money so that we have a good down payment and money in the bank as a cushion in case it's needed. We're making a smart decision not to waste our money in renting while we have this incredible opportunity.

Is it hard putting 95% of your things into storage and fitting as much as you can into one small bedroom? Heck yes it is! We have less privacy and for a young, married couple...that's hard. But, it's what we signed up for because we're looking at the bigger picture and not focusing on the now.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Big Move & A New Plan

Yesterday was the big move. We got most of our stuff out of the apartment and into the storage locker or my in-laws basement. We ended up having a lot of help and it went by fairly quickly. We are so blessed to have such great people willing to help us with such short notice.

In a nutshell, we packed and moved in a week's time. There's still a few small things to do at the apartment like cleaning for the final inspection, boxing up under the kitchen and bathroom sinks, and doing a final go-through of the small amount of things that we left behind. Other than that, we're out and have officially moved in with the in-laws.

Of course, with this move came a new plan.

My in-laws are insistent that they want to see us in a house. They do not want us to rent anymore and know we are trying to start a family. So, after discussing things with them we have decided to stay here and save up to buy a house! We are blessed with parents who want what's best for us and have given us minimal expenses while we are here. They would rather see our savings account grow rather than have them get any rent. Of course, we have our own personal bills (my student loan, whatever we spend on our Discover each month, cell phone bill, and some groceries), but other than our own expenses, it is all supposed to go to savings!

We've spoken with a realtor and have been pre-approved for a loan. She told us that we should start looking around February (our two year anniversary!) when people will start to put new houses on the market so we'll have a better selection for our price range.

In regards to us trying to start a family--we've decided to see if the Metformin alone will help my body do what it's supposed to do, but to stop any fertility treatments for a few months if I go in Tuesday and we find out that this cycle didn't work. We will re-evaluate in a few months. It will all depend on what we find with the houses we're looking at and what are the chances of not finding something or being able to close in a decent time frame.

Other than that, we're still busy this week adjusting to figuring out where to put everything and running things back to storage, but that's the update for now!