Friday, September 19, 2008

Friday Fun

Ok, so it's not exactly a secret that I look forward to the end of the work week to start off the weekend. I mean, seriously, after working a 50+ hour week with two boys ages five and two I really look forward to spending some time with the boyfriend!

I think the distance makes it all the better. Ya, it sucks being three hours away and only being able to have phone/im conversations throughout the week, but the weekends make it totally worth it. He's an amazing guy and I really am lucky!

This weekend I am estatic to go see him mainly because I have his birthday present all wrapped up and ready to give him! I am one of those people who love to do things for other people and when I get a present for someone there is this need to give it to them asap so that they can enjoy it. Plus, I kind of have this problem of not being able to keep the surprise to myself and tend to blurt it out...oops. Luckily, my boyfriend loves me for all my flaws and actually finds it cute and I'm sure somewhat amusing...huh.

I also baked cupcakes for the occasion! I know he and his dad love it when I bring up cookies, cupcakes, and things like that so I get really excited to do that as well! Serioulsy, this makes me entirely too happy :)

On Fridays I literally count down the hours and minutes before I can leave. It's this feeling that I want to get out and start with the fun! Not that my job isn't fun, I just really miss the boyfriend after a week apart! Aside from that the little one is going through "terrible two's" and sounds like a veloci-raptor everytime he screams. Oh the joys of *almost* parenting.

I have been pretty much ready to go now for about an hour and a half with everything packed waiting until my shift is over. Can you say anxious much lately? Ah well, twenty one more minutes until my weekend freedom, that is, unless my bosses are feeling gracious to let me off just a little early...please?

Monday, September 15, 2008

Seasons of Change

Throughout life there is change. Change is inevitable and you can not escape it. Change can be both good and bad, but even if it is the best thing why do I still get anxious and apprehensive about it? Right now I need change to grow, I have set out and thouroughly thought about it, prayed about it, sought out counsel on the matter and everything seems to be lining up well for the change, but I can't help but to feel apprehensive and unsure to an extent.

I understand being unsure and apprehensive as part of the deal, seriously with big change there is always the uncertainty of "what if" looming in the background. I just wish I could get rid of the thoughts involved with it. The people I have talked to agree that it is the best move for me and needs to happen. Then why do I still question it?

It's always easy even when you don't like something to become comfortable in it. It's difficult to break up the certainty and comfort to do something else. Uncertainty seems to be the one thing that really hits me. I know that God tells me this is what He wants me to do and I believe and agree it is the best option. He has never steered me wrong so far!

Another thing I would like is to have more options. The one I have is definitely better than the current situation, but there will be a period of struggling in order to make it work. I strongly believe that God will sometimes as you to make changes and be uncomfortable for a time in order to bless you and to draw closer to Him. It seems that this is the only option really presenting itself and sometimes, that's just how it is.

I have pretty much made the decision that the change needs to happen. Unfortunately that doesn't relieve all of the worries that are there. I know that I can look to my support system and most importantly to God to get me through all of this!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


It is no secret that my job is both difficult and rewarding....let's face it, I'm a nanny. But sometimes things are more one way than the other. Right now it's a little more difficult. Normally I am able to handle many situations and have been called "Supernanny" from time to time by both my previous and current bosses, but sometimes things are a little more beyond my control.

I am having a particularly difficult time in many areas right now. It's not uncommon to go through "phases" with kids, but what about the unit as a whole? I find my patience has been diminishing greatly and no matter how hard I try I'm becoming more apathetic in general. Unfortunately this tends to affect my relationship.

I am in a relationship with seriously the best boyfriend ever! I am incredibly lucky to have him and thank God everyday for placing him in my life. The downside, other than the distance, is that when I'm down about something it consumes me which means I bring it into the relationship. He's a wonderful man and lets me go on and on as much as I like, but ultimately it is draining him as well as me. I think I need a new approach.

I have been thinking about this a lot today. There are many things that I can not change, but some things I can. I am a strong believer on the thought that you choose your attitude positive or negative. Clearly, I am choosing to let stress and other things take control instead of giving it up to God and letting him take control. This may be incredibly hard to do, but I value my relationship way more than letting this consume me and tear it down.

My boyfriend is so incredibly amazing and supportive! I am determined to do the right thing and change my outlook to see the positives! God is good and I just need to trust Him to get me through this!