Thursday, January 30, 2014

Sleep

We are falling into our new routine over here and trying to figure out our new normal...just in time to move and have to get into a new routine again. I used to have Matthew on a schedule and loved it. It was pretty flexible and it was nice to know when he would be eating each day and napping, but then his naps and overnight sleeping became irregular with the 4 month sleep regression. Here we are, a month and a half later, and we're still trying to figure this whole thing out again!

He's up most times about two hours and needs a nap. He takes one long nap (2-3 hours), one short 45 minute nap, and if we're lucky one more short nap. He needs and should be at 3 naps per day, but fights the last nap with a vengeance, but is super tired and cranky if he doesn't sleep.

We still have him swaddled because he still startles in his sleep and wakes up crying. It would be so much easier to not swaddle him, but that's what he needs for now and that's ok. The only problem is that he's getting too long for his swaddles and they don't make the next size up!

After a lot of research and recommendation from a friend, I looked further into the Baby Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit and that's what we're going to try. I'm excited to have another alternative and really hoping this works out well for all of us since he was sleeping 8 hour stretches, but has been on a 5 hour stretch followed by a 6 our stretch and that leaves me exhausted.

Here's hoping for a better night's sleep soon!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Reality

My husband works long days. Typically, he's waking up at 3:30am, leaving for work by 4:10am, starting work around 6:30am, and not getting home until 5:45pm...if traffic is decent. Of course, this means long days at home for me with the baby and my mother-in-law. Once he gets home, we have dinner and we take turns entertaining Matthew until his bedtime routine starts between 7-7:30pm. After that, my husband gets ready for bed and I feel like I don't really see him until we go to bed.

Lately I feel like I miss my husband and our family...just us. I love snow days because he's home, but we live with my in-laws and that means that it's not just us. I relish the times where we get a few minutes together that's uninterrupted. No chores, no phones, the baby sleeping. I need more of those times.

We put in an offer on another house and our offer wasn't chosen. They asked if we wanted to be the back up offer in case the other people's contract falls through and we said yes, but that means we're still on the hunt for the right house. The bank is still "reviewing" the contract on the short sale and hasn't even done an appraisal to decide if they can accept our offer so we feel stuck at the current moment. The market here is super competitive in our price range and if a standard sale is priced well and in good condition, it is under contract within 5 days and there are multiple offers on the table.

For now, we wait and keep searching and praying for the right house to come along and take some time together as little as that may be.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Word of the Year

So many people have done their "word of the year" posts recently and I really thought that I didn't have a word for this year, but then it hit me...

grace
 
I have always wanted to have more grace in many situations and this year I feel like I need more than ever. I have been practicing grace almost daily and with house hunting, it has been no different.
 
Usually, I am a hot mess of emotions and cry at the drop of the hat and instead, I have found myself praying and taking a step back (without tears) and finding peace. I have been given the opportunity to practice grace lately and I'm doing ok with it. Of course, disappointment is never easy, but I'm learning that I don't have to be super anxious or upset about every.single.thing anymore. I'm learning to let go and let God in some of the smaller situations and bigger ones too.
 
It's a learning process and I'm definitely not perfect every time I'm faced with something that's difficult or less than ideal, but I'm getting better each time and that's what matters most.

Monday, January 20, 2014

"The Talk"

Things over here have been awesome the past few days and that's because my husband had "the talk" with my in-laws. It's been a long time coming, but something that desperately needed to be done. It was awkward and feelings were unintentionally hurt, but now we're at a much better place.

It's nice to feel like we can breathe again and really focus on the new adventure of buying a house without feeling like we need to be out yesterday. My mother-in-law is open to me telling her when something is bothering me and we are able to go out with them and really enjoy the time together.

It's been a much needed change around here and I'm glad we are establishing boundaries. It's always hard to live in someone else's house and be grateful, but try not to step on anyone's toes in the meantime.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

What We Want (In a House)

House hunting can be fun, but daunting at the same time. You save a lot of money to have a down payment and/or closing costs and spend a good chunk of it quickly. We've been looking on and off for about a year now and still don't have a house. Since last year we've expanded our budget and added a new location that should make it easier to find a house, yet we're still having a little bit of trouble.

Here's our MUST have list...
  1. 3 Bedrooms and 1.5+ baths. This way we would be able to have a second child and not have to move if we had a girl or the second bedroom was too small.
  2. Parking. We need to be able to park our cars in a designated area whether that's assigned parking, a garage, or driveway.
  3. It must be decent. We can get over some cosmetic things and work with it, but if it's a major issue, then we're really not interested.
  4. A yard. Doesn't have to be huge, but enough that our little guy can play safely when he's a little bigger.
  5. A good location for my husband's commute. It also must be safe. Since he takes the train in, this is important.
  6. Adequate storage. Just enough so that we wouldn't have to throw everything away or rent a storage locker.
Things that would be nice to have, but not a must have...
  1. A garage.
  2. Basement.
  3. Attic.
  4. A neighborhood with sidewalks (which is rare around here).
Overall, we're just looking for something that is comfortable and would work for our family. We're looking at more houses tonight and this weekend so I guess we'll see!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Tuesday Randoms

~It's Tuesday and I have to shockingly admit that my child slept through the night! He went to sleep after his bedtime bottle and routine at 8pm and didn't wake up until 6:30am! On top of that, he went back to sleep and is still sleeping so I'm really hoping that today is going to be a good day.

~Yesterday we put in an offer on the house we saw this weekend that we liked, but now the websites are saying that they are having an open house this Saturday. I'm not sure if it was previously scheduled or not, but it makes me a little nervous. Hopefully we'll hear back soon and can negotiate the price and get a contract on the house before Saturday. Of course, the house has been on the market since July and is overpriced compared to the comps so we're really hoping they'll come down and accept our offer.

~I went to the gym yesterday and only hated it a little bit. The treadmill is not my friend since my calves get super tight when I'm on it so I did the elliptical as well and that was much better. I'm trying to go three times per week to start so we'll see how that works out. Of course I'm itching to go today, but don't know if I want to get out of the house. Laziness, I tell you!

~I signed up for Emeals again and I'm very glad that I did. I used it back when we lived in our apartment for a while (before it was popular and had a ton of options) and I really liked the recipes. I love that it has changed so much and even allows you to change your plan as often as needed unlike before where it was limited.

~Since being spoiled with disposables thanks to my father-in-law, we used cloth diapers for a day to see if it would help Matthew's horrible diaper rash, and I have to admit that it's much harder this time around. Maybe it's because his waist is so skinny and his legs are getting some chunk on the thighs, but I think they will fit a little better when he's a little bigger. I still plan on using them when we move out since diapers cost a lot, so we'll see how that all ends up working out.

~I've been spending more time in our bedroom when Matthew is sleeping again. I just need the quiet sometimes. I'm hoping that we can get into a house quickly so that I can feel more like myself again.

Monday, January 13, 2014

House Update

This weekend we had a choice to make. With the "pending" contract on a house (that is a short sale) that we have heard nothing about since the bank has to review our offer, we decided that we need to look at more options. The bank still has 30 days to make a decision before we have to forfeit the contract and start over with looking for houses or file an extension to keep our offer on the table. Seeing as things have been a little more difficult lately, we decided to be proactive in our approach and went to look at more houses!

Saturday, we saw four different houses. The first two I couldn't even make work if I tried, the third house was ok, but not what I would be comfortable with, but the last house was by far the best of what we've seen so far. When you walked in, it felt like home.

Now we are in a position where the house is a little more than what we would like to spend, but should be do-able if they won't negotiate, but we still have a contract on a house. Our realtor is going to see how negotiable the sellers of the new house are and pull up some comparables to see what we should offer as well as see if we can pull the contract on the other house. Of course, this means that we could lose our "good faith deposit", but honestly, we're ok with that. We went in with good intentions and it's not the seller's fault at all. We just want what's best for our family.

We should hear back from our realtor soon and hopefully she is able to give us some guidelines with what we should offer if that's what we choose to do. If this house doesn't work out, then that's ok too. Our main goal is to find a house that works for us and we can afford. We believe that there is no one house that is the end all be all to what we would be happy with so we just need to find the right one God has for us (and hopefully soon!).

Sunday, January 12, 2014

So Much Better

This morning was just what I needed. My husband took overnight duty with the baby and let me sleep in! When I woke up, my in-laws were already out of the house for church and my husband was getting ready to leave to go to church as well. Last night we made the decision that I would stay home with Matthew today. He has a horrible diaper rash and has been out of his normal routine a lot lately, so I wanted to work on both of those things.

We decided that while his diaper rash is bad, we would bust out our cloth diaper stash we have and try it on him. Since cloth diapers can help keep diaper rash away, we figured that it might help for him to have less chemicals on his bum with it being so irritated. I have to admit that I miss him in his colorful cloth diapers so I'm not too sad about the switch. I'm sure that once his diaper rash is gone, we'll be using more disposables again since his grandpa buys them for us since he doesn't want to change a cloth diaper!

This morning has been so great. I fed Matthew and was able to give him a little bit of diaper-free time while I changed his diaper this morning. He even played in his activity saucer for at least 20 minutes happily while I made cookies and talked to his Aunt Boo! Once he let me know he was done in that, I put him in his swing and he stayed there happily for a while too. By the time he started fussing, it was nap time. I swaddled him (which he hates the process, but loves the end result) and put him down for his nap.

I have the dishwasher and washing machine going and have stuffed diapers in the mean time. It's mornings like this that remind me that it's going to be ok and it's all worth it in the end. We are going to have a house and I will feel like I can breathe.

At the moment, I'm waiting for my husband to get home so we can eat lunch together and hang out around the house. My in-laws are only around for a little while on Sunday afternoons and come back a little before dinner so it's a nice break.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

High Maintenance

Hi, my name is Kate, and I have a high maintenance (high needs) baby.

So many times I'm reading other mom's blog, twitter, and IG posts and see that they are writing that they have a happy, content baby. And you know what, that makes me happy. Everyone wants to have that baby who is easily entertained and you can go throughout your day with minimal fussiness. But, you know what? That's not the case over here.

Don't get me wrong, I love my little guy and he is super cute and sleeps a lot, but he's honestly a fuss bucket most days. Here's how a day around here goes:

7:30-8am- Wake up. He's happy (Praise Jesus!). Change diaper, unswaddle, and get bottle ready.

8am-ish- Feed baby. Pray that he doesn't fuss or cry while feeding. Oh wait, he usually does. Fight  him trying to get him to eat 4 ounces and keep going back to feeding him until there's 1 ounce or less left in his bottle.

8:30-9ish- Play time. Talk to him, put him in the activity saucer, make funny faces and sounds to get him to smile and stop fussing, take him out and help him sit and stand up, carry him around and show him things around the house, baby wear if necessary, attempt tummy time, pick up the paci 500 times as he spits it out on the floor, get a new paci, put fussy baby in the swing and turn on the mobile, turn on tv if desperate.



9/9:30am- 10:30/11am- Nap time.

1130/12ish- Wake up, unswaddle, make bottle, and feed baby. Rinse and repeat previous awake time and nap time schedule in 4 hour blocks until bedtime.

7/7:30pm- Bath time. His favorite time of the day. Followed by a night time bottle, book, prayer, and bedtime.



I do have to admit that his afternoon feedings get better throughout the day most days, but it seems like so many times we have good eating days and bad eating days where he screams at most feedings one day and for a few days he's fine with eating.

Our little man is definitely opinionated and must be entertained most of the time. When people hold him and he gets fussy, I'm constantly asked what to do to get him to stop and I tell them that I just try five different holds and pray that one works. He's super active and loves to be moving and wiggling around.

I have been told by a couple of people now that their babies were the same way and that around 5-6 months, they really had a turn around and ended up being happy babies. The pediatrician also noticed that he needs a lot of stimulation and movement to be happy and she said that although that's exhausting, that it's a good thing that he's so interested and alert. My mom said I was the same way so I guess it's genetic?!

I may not have the easiest baby on the block, but he's mine and I love him all the same.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Schedule Changes

I would have to say that I am definitely a fan of having some sort of routine/schedule with my baby. It's not something that is rigid or set in stone, but something that is flexible to go by since each and every day is different, but yet similar.

Last week Matthew switched from 4 naps per day to 3 naps per day. We've been working on extending his awake times since he would be fussy after only 45 minutes-1 hour and need a nap. I noticed that his first nap was a super short one lasting from 30-40 minutes on average and that his two middle naps were 2-3 hours long followed by one last short nap in the evening. He slept 11 hours total at night with waking up one time to eat about 5-6 hours from being put down and I couldn't help to think that it could be better. So, I decided to make the switch.

It went pretty well, but keeping him awake is sometimes difficult. The goal is that he's awake from 1.5-2 hours and sleeps for the same amount of time trying to get in a 4 hour block from one feeding to the next. Again, we're pretty flexible, so if he's hungry sooner or naps longer, we feed him when he's ready. He only eats between 4-5 ounces of formula at a time (if he finishes his bottle) so he needs to eat more often and doesn't end up eating a ton in a 24 hour period.

During our awake times, we are doing a number of things. One of his favorites is the swing which I try to use if he's fussy or I need to get something done. We've been trying to keep him off of his head more so we're using his new activity saucer and he is doing really well with it. He's a little short for his jumperoo so we're waiting until he's grown a couple of inches to really be able to get moving in that. He hates tummy time with a passion so we don't do that too often (also because the pediatrician said that it might make his reflux/tummy worse so we do it sparingly) but still try to do it daily most of the time.

He loves to be tickled and talked to with big expressions and will really laugh and smile more often now. He's still a high-maintenance baby (the pediatrician agrees) so he needs a lot of attention. We put him down for a nap when he's tired and shows some sign by being fussy, yawning, or rubbing his eyes and he's pretty good about going to sleep on his own especially now that we have the Baby Einstein soother attached to his crib.

The one BIG change we are doing is trying to put him down to bed earlier. He was going to bed around 9pm-ish, but we would have to wake him up to do his bath and he would end up wanting to party at 3:30am which is not cool for me. I'm hoping that putting him down earlier between 7:30-8pm will help with that problem and help him sleep longer since he'll be awake a little more before his bedtime and will wear him out a little bit more.

I'm still hoping that as he gets older, he'll be happier once he can do a little more. We're working on sitting and he tries really hard, but isn't quite there with balancing himself. It shouldn't be too long for that and for playing with toys (although the kid loves to nom on his hands every chance he gets) a little more intentionally.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Let It Go

Those are the words my mom keeps telling me. I'm trying, really I am, but I've always struggled with letting things go and letting things roll off of my back. I really don't know how. I've tried praying, sleeping it off, listening to music, zoning out in some way, taking a bath, going for a walk and they are all temporary fixes, but don't resolve the problem. I need resolution.

The best way for me to get over something is to get away from it. I need space and time to heal and feel better, but that's not an option right now. What can I do then? I have no idea. I know that if I work out then at least I feel better short term and long term. It helps me deal with daily stress better, but the first few weeks are hard, worth it, but oh so hard.

I feel pulled in so many directions right now. I'm trying to raise our son and take care of myself and my husband, but can't do it in the way that I need or want. Right now I'm in a position that is better for the long term of purchasing a home, but is getting more difficult by the week.