Wednesday, March 31, 2010

It's Wednesday!

I look outside and it's just beautiful today. The sun is shining, it's not too warm, not too cold, and there's a light breeze out that makes the trees sway just a little bit. It is a day I would consider to be perfect, yet I somehow feel anxious.

I've felt like this all morning. It's been a good day so far and I'm in a good mood, but I can't shake the uneasy, anxious feeling to save my life. There's really no stress going on today and I'm not worried about anything. I've been praying, taking deep breaths, smiling, and talking to my mom and Phil on the phone to try to relieve some of  the anxiety. Nothing has worked.

I'm not worried because I know that God is in control and He is going to take care of everything. I want to laugh at how I feel, but cry all at the same time because it won't go away and there's really no reason for it that I can think of.

I can be happy about one thing...the doctor offered to give me a shot in the thumb/wrist area today and luckily the little man I watch saw him getting it ready and asked me why I was getting a shot. I told the doctor that I did not want one (basically because I'm like a small child and freak out panic when I get a shot). He said that I didn't have to get one and I thanked him profusely and declined. So much for acting like my age and being able to handle things like an adult! Oh well, I figure that one day I will be ok with getting them and be able to deal much better, but for now the panic that comes with the thought of needles and shots is too much.

I guess I'll just be taking it easy today and praying a whole lot to feel less anxious.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Days of Being a Nanny

I'm a nanny. I've been a nanny for just about five years now consecutively and have worked for three different families in that time. My job is very rewarding and very difficult all at the same time, but I must admit, it has a lot of perks to it too.

Perk #1- I am salaried which basically means that no matter how few hours I work each week, I still get the same rate of pay even if the parents decide to give me three extra days off!

Perk #2- When I go out to lunch with the kiddos, I get my lunch paid for. Also, I get all meals and snacks during my work day so I don't even have to bring a breakfast or lunch in for the day.

Perk #3- I get paid to take kids on fun activities such as bowling, swimming, the aquarium, etc. And if Phil has off, he's more than welcome to join us for the fun festivities!

The kids I watch now are older being 4 1/2, 7, and 10 so most of my day is with the little one follwed by three hours each day with all three. During school holidays and breaks, I get all three kids full-time for 10 hours a day. Yes, it can be fun, but overwhelming as well.

Right now I have one eating a snack, one stalking me, and one upstairs in her room crying because she doesn't want to clean her room. Today I'm taking it all in stride and laughing at the fact that the youngest wanted to "not eat" today and brought a yogurt and nutri-grain bar for lunch and wanted nothing else, the middle child has been in her room crying at the injustice that is cleaning her room, and the oldest hiding a snack she knows she's not supposed to have only to be caught with the evidence on her face! Lol.

I am still trying to transition into the career-world and keeping my focus on God to provide the right job for me upon leaving this one. I'll definitely miss the kids, but I'm looking forward to getting into a different line of work and knowing that my degree isn't going to waste. It will be a good transition for all of us and I'm trusting God for His plans are better than mine.

Monday, March 29, 2010

mcfatty mondays

Hey yall! I'm so happy to see that this past week drinking mass quantities of water totally worked and I managed to lose 1.2 pounds! Never mind the fact that I only went to the gym once last week. It was an incredibly busy week with work--the youngest is on spring break and the oldest had strep throught-- and add on the Bible study we go to weekly, and preparing to fax my transcripts to someone who contacted me. But, nevertheless I lost weight! I must contribute this to my dad who told me to drink a gallon of water a day. I find that this is a large amount of water and I did not make it that far yet, but I did drink a lot more than usual.

I also went shopping this weekend and found some clothes for work when I get a job I have to dress up for! I bought some button-up shirts and one pair of brown work slacks, but what color shoes do you wear with brown pants? I'm not sure yet. I also got two pairs of jeans to wear until I fit into all of the jeans that I have and love. They are high-waisted which I don't love, but they fit better than all of my low-rise jeans and don't fall down. I figure I can wear them even if I'm so not a fan of high-waisted jeans and maybe it will be my motivation to lose more weight!

With that said let's see how much I've lost so far...

Current Stats:
Starting Weight: 196
Today's Weight: 193.2
Total Weight Loss: -2.8 pounds!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

An Early Wake-Up

I decided to surprise Phil this morning by showing up at his house at 3:50am. You see, he wakes up at 3:45am and is on his way to work by 4:10 every morning. Now, usually I wouldn't be up that early or driving to my boyfriend's house, however, there were circumstances that led to this surprise visit.

Two weeks ago the smoke detector in my apartment beeped loudly and said "low battery" and yes, it really does talk after the horrific beep. I had looked at it and couldn't figure it out because it is also hooked up to the electricity and had wires connecting it to the ceiling and didn't want to try anything for fear of being electrocuted. So, I told Phil's dad and he was going to stop by and fix it.

He didn't make it over since he had been out of town last weekend and Phil and I were super busy prior to that as well, but he did make it over tonight to fix it because apparently by 3am it was beeping and talking to me every ten minutes. At that point I couldn't take it and decided to get my clothes together and go on over to Phil's since he should be up when I got there and I could sleep over there for the rest of the time before I had to get up for work.

Luckily, he was in a good mood and was very sweet about the whole thing. His mom thought it was funny when she saw me in the morning and his dad was confused and thought that Phil was in another room when he came in.

I am truly thankful for having such a great man in my life and his wonderfully supportive family.

Monday, March 22, 2010

mc fatty monday

I must admit, I worked hard last week. Like, really hard. I made it to the gym 4 days and did a Combat class, Zumba, and two days with my legs/cardio, and one strictly cardio. I managed to still not drink any soda and managed to not eat any fast food. I did better overall again and my eating habits seem to be getting better slowly, but again, it's been much better than before where I pretty much had fast food at least once if not two times a day Ya, I'm doing much better now.

One could see my dismay with this reality when I stepped on the scale this morning only to find that it said:
What? I maintained my weight after all of the hard work I put in last week? I blame it on the major PMS I'm having right now--no, really, I do. Even though I didn't lose any, I'm happy to not have gained any. This has happened before with PMS and once it was gone, the weight loss showed. Either way, I'm in a ton of pain and don't weigh and more than last week. I guess, I'll take it.

I'm not sure of my goals for this week. I was supposed to go meet with my trainer today, but she had to make an emergency trip to Puerto Rico where her husband had to have emergency surgery. I am keeping them in my thoughts and prayers. I was planning on going anyways, but the oldest child I watch is home sick with strep throat. Ya, not sure if I should really go to the gym and possibly give it to everyone else while I'm there. But, I am hoping to do at least a video or something this week even if it's walking around outside. I'm still determined to lose the weight and get the ball rolling.

Oh, and this weekend ON my birthday some lady may or may not have totally asked me if I was "P.G.--because, girl, you look like you're gonna pop out a kid any second now." Ya, no, I'm just fat...not pregnant.

So, as you can see, this past weekend has been marvelous. I'm hoping for a much better week coming up here.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me!

I am officially 26 years old today! This past year has brought so much to my life.

  • I started the year off having just moved to Maryland from Virginia in January and started my new job with the kids. This was definitely something that was a big thing for me. I had never had my own apartment before and it was a big adjustment. I remember that for the first couple of months, Phil would come over and stay with me until I would fall asleep, then go back to his place.

  • We made a much needed trip back to California to visit my family and friends. I was there on my birthday and stayed for the entire week.

  • I played on an adult softball team during the late-spring and summer seasons and absolutely loved it! I tried out a new position, first base, and totally rocked at it!
  • We made it to a couple of National's games and totally had a blast! The summer also marked our 1 year anniversary!
  • The fall brought on Phil's birthday and a homemade tornado cake! Yes, it was 3-D, took forever, and made him so incredibly happy that my heart melted. It also brought us Phil's new job!


  • In December we flew to Iowa so I could walk across the stage and receive my diploma and in January, I officially graduated!

    • January brough lots of snow and I officially graduated! I also found out that in the middle of June this year, my job will be ending. It was a bitter-sweet moment for me as the kids are growing up and I'm able to pursue my career (finally!)
    • And I ended my 25th year with getting serious about losing weight and going to a Skillet/Toby Mac concert last night with my honey.
    It's been a great year full of surprises and I hope that 26 will bring many more blessings and opportunites and to be able to use my talents for God's glory.

    Wednesday, March 17, 2010

    The Plan

    In order for me to pursue teaching, I am going to have to go back to school. This involves a lot of extensive research on the different schools in the area and what programs they offer. It seems to be that I will need to get a Master's In Arts and Teaching (MAT) which will give me all of the classes and student internship to get me my certification.

    It's going to be difficult to choose which program I want to pursue because there are some really good ones out there. I figure that maybe losing my job will give me more time to go to school. I'm still worried about how my bills are going to be paid, but I know that God is in control and He will work something out.

    I guess right now I just need to focus on praying, trusting God, and listening to His guidance in what direction to go in. I'm definitely excited, nervous, and a little whelmed (but not overwhelmed). This new adventure will definitely be worth it!

    Tuesday, March 16, 2010

    My Calling

    Since I've been given until mid-June to find a job and now have my Bachelor's degree in tow I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I want to do for a career. For my whole life I wanted to teach. I love kids always for the most part and just knew that was my calling in life--that is until I actually looked into how to get my certification out here from taking my courses through an online college.

    To say that I hit a road-block and was discouraged was an understatement. It seemed like there was no possible way for me to teach and afford my apartment. This is when I decided to look into human resources as an option even going so far as to take a business management class and human resources class. However, upon looking at the jobs to apply for it seems that I do not qualify for lack of experience...hmmmph.

    Then I started looking into office administrative work. Not too exciting, but it would be something I'm good at and can pay the bills and give me the health insurance I've been lacking for over 2 years now. The problem with this is that it seems that not only do they want so much experience too, but most of the jobs I've applied for are really spam. I'm still not opposed to this type of work and will continue to apply for government positions, but if it doesn't work out...I won't be too upset.

    The decision I've made has been made with a lot of thought, prayer, and talking it over with Phil. I've decided that I do want to teach. I want to have the summers, snow days, and breaks off with my kids. I want to be able to call in a sub and not worry about who is going to take care of my family when they are all sick. I want to be available and have a shorter day knowing that if Phil and I get married and start a family and he's still working in DC getting home late, then they would still have their mom around to take them to things and be there. These are things that have become increasingly more important to me.

    I realize the road to teaching is going to be tough and pretty much suck for the next 2 years. I will have to rely on Phil and his family a lot for financial and emotional support if I can not find a school who will let me teach before I have my certification. I also know that if this is God's will, then He will provide a way for me and I won't have to worry about anything because my God is bigger than anything and can work miracles even in the worst circumstances.

    So, for right now I am praying for guidance and direction in which path to take knowing that God will open the right door for me.

    Monday, March 15, 2010

    McFatty Monday

    Well, it's that time again. Time to say what the scale said this morning and what I've done this past week in my weight loss endeavors.

    This past week went pretty well work out wise, but I could have done better with eating. Here's a quick overview:
    • I went to the gym a grand total of 4 times this week! Two times with a trainer, one Zumba class, and one Body Combat class. And yes, this is the most I have gone in one week.
    • Soda is still out of the equation...yes, it makes me sad, but I'm dealing really well without it.
    • I have a work out buddy now! She helps with the motivation to go because if we've made plans to go, then I will show up!
    • Could have done better food-wise, but pms makes me crave chocolate and I cave for my own sanity.
    Current Stats:
    Starting Weight: 196
    Today's Weight: 194.4
    Weight Loss to Date: -1.6 pounds!!!

    The goal this week is to eat a little better and continue the good streak in the gym!

    Thursday, March 11, 2010

    All Sorts of Updates

    To say that I woke up today in a "bad" mood is an understatement. I've been keeping up with my 30-day plan and it has made me exhausted and sore. When I woke up I could feel that the arches of my feet, calves, and back were sore. On top of that, my allergies make me feel terrible first thing in the morning so needless to say I needed some time to really wake up and get moving.

    What really helped me out this morning was the encouragement from my mom and Phil. I called my mom and told her that I really needed her to be supportive and encouraging and to say that I need to go to the gym and to not give up. Phil sent me a text and email saying how proud of me he is and that really helped too. I have a great boyfriend :)

    I went to the gym as planned and did a 10 minute warm up on the treadmill then my trainer and I did 30 minutes with intervals on the Arc trainer. I must admit that although it is more work to do, I love it because it is low-impact and I feel the tiredness in my quads not my calves (which have been sore for 3 days straight). After the workout I felt so much better! My calves were no longer hurting and my mood was changing into more of a happy feeling.

    I have lost something so far in the past week, but I'm not sure what. I weighed myself on Tuesday and Wednesday and they were different and I can't remember Tuesday's weight which should reflect more of what I lost in that week so I will have to weigh in on Monday to see where I'm at then.

    Overall, it's been a long, taxing week. I had to work three 10 hour days with the girls out of school because the school had no water and still have the little one when he wasn't in preschool. I'm happy to be back on a "normal schedule" for today and tomorrow and am really looking forward to my massage tomorrow! I'm hoping it will help my back feel better.

    On another note--I got a second opinion with my wrist and we found out that it is NOT a bone bruise, but in fact a sprain! And yes, I am happy about that because I was arguing discussing it with the first doctor and trying to tell him that it is a sprain, but he didn't want to listen. I am now on a prescription anti-inflammatory and have to go to physical therapy 2-3 times/week for a couple of weeks, then follow-up with the doctor.

    As you can see, I've been pretty darn busy over here and can not stress how much I am looking forward to the weekend!

    Tuesday, March 9, 2010

    On being a hot mess

    I'm feeling like a hot mess today.

    I'm feeling stressed and overwhelmed at the thought of not having a full-time job in June, planning a trip to California to visit the family, and working a 50 hour work week and having the kids with me every-waking-second because the girls' school is closed for the week due to no water in the area.

    Ya, it sucks.

    I was doing really well with being positive today, but as the day wears on it seems that more stress and anxiety is creeping up on me.

    Monday, March 8, 2010

    McFatty Monday

    Well, it's been a week since I've started with McFatty Mondays. I have made some changes that will hopefully make it work.

    • I have completely given up soda for a whole week! It was difficult and I still crave it, but it will be better in the long run.
    • I have kept on my 30 day "Keep active" promise to myself. I went to the gym 3 times this past week and only 2 were with my trainer. Other than that I made sure that I was active for at least 10 minutes that I was not at the gym. And yes, that included taking the stairs at the mall instead of going up the elevator.
    • I have also made sure to eat less sweets in general.
    • The new thing I've been doing for dinners at home is if I'm not really hungry, I will eat a bowl of cereal to cut down on calories instead of skipping the meal or just eating chips and dip.
    I will have to do the weigh-in tomorrow morning, but I am hoping that all of these changes have made a small difference.

    Sunday, March 7, 2010

    Weekend Remix

    Wow, what a great weekend! We did a lot and changed our plans and it was a lot of fun. Here's the recap:

    Thursday night we went to a "Taco Bake" over at a friend's house and was able to have dinner there and be around some great people and eat a fantastic dish called Taco Bake. Seriously, if you haven't tried it now!

    Friday we had the whole day together.
    1.  We had an appointment with my boss' office in the morning and I didn't have to go in early that day!
    2. Afterwards we went to the mall for lunch and to return a couple of things. While we were there we saw one of Phil's friends and were able to catch-up with him while he was on his lunch break.
    3. We picked up the kids from school.
    4. Then we went to dinner at Texas Roadhouse with a great couple and their two adorable boys! We followed dinner with games at their house and had
    Saturday we were supposed to go to D.C. and just spend the day together, but we decided to do an impromptu trip to Virginia to visit my friend, Boo. On the way we stopped at the Outlets and got my birthday present!!!

    Today we went to chuch this morning, picked up Subway for lunch on our way back, stopped at Wal-mart to look at a couple of things and finally made it back home. I still have to run to the store tonight to look at curtains and pick Phil up a deodorant since he lost his on the

    Overall, we had a great weekend and the weather made it even nicer...sunny and not too cold!

    Wednesday, March 3, 2010

    Oh Happy Day!

    I am really feeling God's love and presence in my life today. I was able to have coffee with one of the mom's that I met last year at a story time. It was such a great time to have to spend with someone who shares the same faith and understands so much. I left feeling refreshed and loved. I hope we get to do it again sometime soon.

    Afterwards I was able to go to wal-mart and found a comforter set that not only I liked, but Phil gave the ok when I sent him the picture to his phone. It was a complete set with a queen-sized comforter, sheet set, bedskirt, and two pillow shams and the price? Only $45! I've been looking around for so long and haven't found anything that we both like for under $100 so let's just say that I was thrilled. In fact, immediately I ran home to put it on the bed and am so excited to be at home tonight to sleep in the new bed set.

    Days like today make me so super excited for life. I feel invincible with God on my side and motivated to do so much. All of my worries, fears, and anxiety seem to melt away and I just praise God in the car while listening to the radio.

    I also found out last night that Phil is going to do an intensive Bible study that deals with spiritual warfare and how to overcome the barriers in your life. I may join him for support, but I'm leaving that up to him. It is something that he's been battling for a long time and I am so happy that God is giving him this opportunity to make his life better.

    Tuesday, March 2, 2010

    Dazed and Confused

    In just 3 1/2 short months I will be out of a job. I had made the decision to not pursue teaching based on the facts that it would take me 2-3 more years in a Master's program to be able to teach in the public school system here in Maryland plus any additional time getting the pre-requisites, if any, needed.

    During the past 2 months I have sent out about 13 resumes for any possible job I could think of. So far, I have heard nothing and am getting a little discouraged. I felt positive that pursuing Human Resources would be the best thing, but seeing as I can't seem to find a job in that field...maybe not. I've also been applying for office jobs and have heard nothing from them either.

    The more I think about it the more teaching really seems to be what I want to do. I want to have summers off with my kids and to be able to watch them on snow days, spring breaks, and when they are sick. I want to be able to work a shorter day, grade homework, come up with projects, give tests, and do all things teaching has to offer.

    I guess right now what I'm feeling is very stuck and confused. I'm not sure how to support myself through the Master's program if that is what I need to do to teach. I am praying that God has a plan and will work it out for me to work for a private school while I take a couple of courses to be certified. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens from here...

    Monday, March 1, 2010

    McFatty Mondays

    Blair has been doing McFatty Mondays for a while now and has gotten down to her Pre-pregnancy weight! She has been working so hard for a while and it has really paid off for her. This has given me some motivation by reading her blog!

    Today I met with my trainer and was told to think about two specific goals when it comes to my weight loss. This started off kind of easy...I know what I want to accomplish. When I met with her we talked about my goals. Yesterday at Target Phil bought me the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD I've been wanting for a while. A lot of other bloggers have tried it and were successful and it seems like a great way to kick start a good weight loss plan.

    Before the purchase I did a lot of research and found out that she does a lot of push-ups in the workout. My wrist is still huring when any pressure is applied to my right hand so I might have to hold off a little longer before I start that one. It did, however, lead me to a new goal.

    I am going to workout EVERY day for the next 30 days. This can be done by going to the gym, doing a video, walking, pretty much anything that is a workout and lasts for a minimum of 10 minutes. It seems a little intense at the moment, but I feel that it really needs to be done to get me into the routine and habit of working out consistently and getting me to my goal weight.

    So here's the starting stats:
     Current Weight: 196
     Goal Weight: 135