Other than teaching, I always knew I wanted to stay at home with our children one day. I had it in my head that I would absolutely love it, my house would be picked up, kids happy, and I would have dinner ready around the time my husband came home. After all, I love to cook, have tons of experience with kids, and like schedules and routines. Then life happened.
Matthew was six months old when we moved into this house. He was super fussy all day long and I was exhausted. Our house still has unpacked boxes and making dinner has been hit or miss. Let's not talk about a cleaning schedule at this point.
My husband has been great at helping to pick up the slack, but it's still not enough. I get overwhelmed and nothing gets done. I've been told to just start with one room, but that's not working. I've been told to read my Bible and it will help. Everyone has a way to "help" without actually coming over and actually helping.
Now that Matthew is older, I'm working on doing more little things that will make a difference over time. Today, I moved the toys we have saved for his birthday into one room and put all of our extra paper goods away so they're not just sitting in the middle of the basement. I still have a lot to do, but I'm doing something.
I want to say that I absolutely love being a homemaker and some days I do, but most days I'm struggling and that's ok too. I don't have to be perfect, I just have to keep going and moving forward. One day, I will look back and it laugh. One day the boxes will be unpacked and I'll have other stressors to worry about, but right now that's where I am.