Matthew has another virus and we're on week 3 of less sleep (day and night) and this momma is exhausted. When the little guy woke up this morning and was happy as a clam I thought it was awesome! Early, but awesome. Then he started freaking out and crying 2 feet away from me and refused to crawl over to me. I sat there trying to coax him over so that he learns that I'm there for him, but he can come get me when he needs and he still sits there crying. He doesn't give up either, he just wants his momma and he wants me to come get him. Every.single.time.
I love being this kid's mom, but I'm spent. The sitter we hired took on another position and doesn't seem to have any availability for us anymore. I'm bummed, but my mother-in-law has been taking Matthew one day per week at her house so that's been helpful except that now we have a friend staying with us and she's here all the time. As in, she doesn't have a job yet and I almost never have the house to myself. At least she's in the guest room downstairs now, but still. I need some space.
The humidity is unbearable lately and causes my asthma to flare which means I'm no longer running and that makes me sad. I did order some workout videos that should be here this week so maybe it's a blessing in disguise. But still, I'd love to be able to breathe better when we go run an errand.
I guess I just always thought I would love being a stay-at-home mom and I do, but it's one tough gig. You never know fully what you've signed up for until after the fact and, even though, it's been rough these past few weeks, I wouldn't have it any other way.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's ok to have a rough day and we all have them. It's not always going to be easy or super fun, but the fact that I have the most important job in the world right now is more than enough.