Giving up Control?

I have to be honest here, I'm a little bit of a control freak. I like things to go my way and know what is going to happen at all times. I like to have my expectations met and know that things are going to run the way that I have envisioned them.

Unfortunately, life is not that way. I can't be in control all of the time and there are many situations that there is nothing that I can do to change them. The thought of having chaos in my classroom makes me anxious and I have a hard time letting go of the control.

The truth is that middle schoolers need some time to be themselves and to express themselves in a way that I may not be thrilled with. Sometimes they talk too much or too loudly and don't follow rules....and you know what, that's ok. I need to learn to modify my expectations and work with them instead of against them. Middle school is a difficult time for so many kids and it's my job to educate and nurture them, not be a drill sergeant!

This is something that I will be working on. I need a lot of prayer and support to be able to look outside of myself and give the students what they need. I know that I can do this especially with God's help.

Summer is Almost Over

Truth be told, I would love to be a stay-at-home wife. While that may not be in our best interest at the moment financially, I am fortunate enough to have a job that I love.

I started teaching last year after a five year stint of nannying. Teaching has been something I have wanted to do my entire life and I'm blessed to have this opportunity. When talking to most young people who want to teach, it's obvious that there is a favored age group that they want to teach. Usually, this falls into the elementary-age category.

When people ask me what I teach I happily tell them middle and high school English. This is the point where I usually get a groan! But, seriously, I love that age group. It's challenging, but  the great thing is that they are at the age where they can really think for themselves and are so insightful. Can they be a handful? Yes. However, so can any age. It's all about what you're comfortable with and how you relate with your students.

I have just under a month left until we go back to school and I'm already working on some things for my classroom. It's been nice to have the time off, but since I have to work right now, I am so grateful to have this job that allows me to grow and not be complacent. It's a good fit and I'm sure this year will be even better than the last.

Preparing for Next School Year...

Every teacher needs to have a lesson planner. Unfortunately, the one I had last year did not work well for me. There wasn't enough space for me to write down what was needed and it made it difficult to read and fit everything in. Well, after looking through many plan books today I have come up with a solution...

I made my own! I have each grade color-coded and the best part is that there is plenty of space for me to write everything I need! Oh, and my husband loves the price too :)

I've been thinking way too much lately....

Between editing 6th grade research papers, grading tests, quizzes, and homework and generally catching up from being gone for the wedding/honeymoon...my head hurts.

This has been a daily occurrence since I've been back. It feels like I'm constantly behind at work (and home) and that I will never get caught up! Of course, I'm almost there, but with papers mounting daily, it's a tough task.

I am so beyond thankful to work in a school where my largest class size is seven students. I do not know how I could have done it with a larger class size.

I am so happy to have taken tomorrow off. I'm taking my sister to the outlets so she and I can go shopping! It will be so nice to go during the week and hopefully miss the weekend crowd.

The Plan

In order for me to pursue teaching, I am going to have to go back to school. This involves a lot of extensive research on the different schools in the area and what programs they offer. It seems to be that I will need to get a Master's In Arts and Teaching (MAT) which will give me all of the classes and student internship to get me my certification.

It's going to be difficult to choose which program I want to pursue because there are some really good ones out there. I figure that maybe losing my job will give me more time to go to school. I'm still worried about how my bills are going to be paid, but I know that God is in control and He will work something out.

I guess right now I just need to focus on praying, trusting God, and listening to His guidance in what direction to go in. I'm definitely excited, nervous, and a little whelmed (but not overwhelmed). This new adventure will definitely be worth it!

To Teach or not to Teach

I've been feeling very apathetic towards school lately. School used to be something that wasn't too bad, afterall, it would help in becoming a teacher when finished right? Unfortunately, if teaching is what I want to do, a master's degree is necessary to get certification. Let's set the record straight, a master's degree would be wonderful, really it would, but the program that is the best in the area is very hands on. This sounds great doesn't it? There's a catch...to complete the program, you must do one full day in the classroom for the first two semesters. The third semester is a 15 day internship and the last semester is a 9 week full-time internship (aka "student teaching"). I would be all on board for all of this, but it is all UNPAID. Just the thought of rearranging my schedule to take the classes, do the internships, schooling at night, and maintain my relationship, finances, and apartment seems a little overwhelming.

This has led me to think that maybe I do not want to teach afterall. Human relations or public administration both seem like good options for a master's degree, but it won't give the flexibility of teaching when I have a family to take care of. This really puts me into a predicament. I have no idea what to do with my life or what I want to do with it for that matter. Right now Phil and I are not married and that is a factor into what decision will be made. If he gets this job he's up for and we can get married and manage to do all of that, then teaching might be a good option.

Either way, I have until December 15th to make the decision to enter the program in the spring or not. Until then, there is a lot of thinking to do...

*yawn*

I've been a little less than thrilled lately. There have been a few reasons why:

--I'm getting over a cold I got from the kids. I'm exhausted because of it and feel blah.

--My job has been difficult this week. Three kids and 50 hours for the week when they all want to do different things. The oldest thinks that she deserves respect and that should come by letting her make all of the decisions and do whatever she wants. Ummm, you're only nine years old...how about giving me some respect instead of being a complete pill thank you very much!

--The biggest reason is that I graduate with my bachelor's degree in January! Sounds great right? It is, but the problem is that the Social Studies/Education degree I am getting does not have the right classes to teach in my state :( I have tried alternative ways to getting a certification either by a Master's degree or resident teaching certification and it is not going to work unless I quit my job which I totally need to survive.

I've been holding up pretty well, but the exhaustion of being sick is totally getting to me. I have a softball tournament tomorrow (if it doesn't get rained out) and although I am looking forward to playing, I wouldn't mind if it was post-poned until Sunday to get some much needed sleep.