I think it's pretty safe to say that there are significant differences between men and women. This translates into many areas to include differences relating to one another and different needs. I've been reading a little more of the book Love and Respect and have realized that there are things that I can do to make my significant other feel respected and loved. The surprising thing is that sometimes it's not about really doing anything, but nothing at all that makes the biggest difference.
As a women I love to communicate and talk. Many times Phil has told me that it can be a little overwhelming for him and he's not used to "talking for hours." So, when I read that to a man spending quality time is having his significant other present, but silent, I was shocked. I thought, "Wait a minute, he wants me there, but not to say anything?" Yep, that's pretty much it. As long as I am there, that's what matters the most. In fact, by not saying anything, he feels more connected and energized! I put this into practice tonight when he was doing the dishes after dinner. I went over in the kitchen and was just "there" and didn't say anything. Once he was done he came over and gave me a big hug. Sure, I got a few puzzled looks, but once I explained to him what I was doing he was so happy! He loved that we were there together not talking and felt really comfortable with just....being.
So many times I've tried to go above and beyond to show him that I love and respect him, but I'm learning that so many times it's the things that I don't do or say that mean the most to him. As long as he's happy, then I'm happy too!