Differences

I think it's pretty safe to say that there are significant differences between men and women. This translates into many areas to include differences relating to one another and different needs. I've been reading a little more of the book Love and Respect and have realized that there are things that I can do to make my significant other feel respected and loved. The surprising thing is that sometimes it's not about really doing anything, but nothing at all that makes the biggest difference.

As a women I love to communicate and talk. Many times Phil has told me that it can be a little overwhelming for him and he's not used to "talking for hours." So, when I read that to a man spending quality time is having his significant other present, but silent, I was shocked. I thought, "Wait a minute, he wants me there, but not to say anything?" Yep, that's pretty much it. As long as I am there, that's what matters the most. In fact, by not saying anything, he feels more connected and energized! I put this into practice tonight when he was doing the dishes after dinner. I went over in the kitchen and was just "there" and didn't say anything. Once he was done he came over and gave me a big hug. Sure, I got a few puzzled looks, but once I explained to him what I was doing he was so happy! He loved that we were there together not talking and felt really comfortable with just....being.

So many times I've tried to go above and beyond to show him that I love and respect him, but I'm learning that so many times it's the things that I don't do or say that mean the most to him. As long as he's happy, then I'm happy too!

Wordless Wednesday

Disturbing Much?

Earlier today I met up with someone to just sit and talk. We talked about my job, my life, and my relationship with Phil. She has known Phil for a few years now and has really seen him mature over that time. She is a little older than us, but younger than our parents. She's played an important part in Phil's life and is a trusted part of our lives.

It's not a secret to those who know us, i.e. friends and family, that Phil and I are waiting until we are married. It is something we both belive and agree to be very important in our relationship. At this point, we have been dating 17 months and are still holding steadfast to our values.

So, this woman and I are talking about the relationship and how Phil and I are talking about marriage in the near future. She seems to think it is a great idea and that our relationship is definitely headed there. It is all positive talk for a while including asking me what type of wedding do we want...formal? Where would we like to get married and have a reception...etc. It is all going well until about the last few minutes and it becomes a little awkward. Here's the end of the conversation we had:

Me: I'm super excited to get married!
Her: Oh my gosh....the wedding night is going to be sizzling....she puts her hands up to her head...Oh my, I just can't think about that!
Me: blank stare...thinking did she seriously just say that?...Ummm, ya...I hope so.
Her: I don't even want to be in the room next to you two on your wedding night.
Me: Ya, I don't think I want anyone in the room next to us...can you say awkward?
Her: Well, you two are going to be having a good time definitely!...something to that affect
Me: trying not to be awkward...Ya, we are looking forward to it.

Ummm....seriously...why is she thinking about that? I had to sit there trying not to say anything awkward because that is what I do when I'm nervous, obviously. It was just a bit disturbing. When I told Phil he was shocked she even said it! I think the best part was when she was getting excited and had to say that she needs to not think about it...ewww.

I'm all for talking about things with my girlfriends, but this was a little different and I did not bring it up. I honestly wasn't expecting her to start to think about that and make those comments. It's nice that it will apparently be hot, but there's still a ways to go...lol.

This weekend in a nutshell

This weekend was definitely a good weekend. Friday was Phil's sister-in-law's birthday dinner, Saturday was halloween, and Sunday we had brunch with Mom and Dad (Phil's parents) and Gram. We stayed and played games at Gram's apartment and had a lot of fun despite the fact that I have been feeling sick all weekend, but I managed to suck it up and get through it only to now be at work all day watching a sick kid.

Anyways, here's a picture of us at the halloween party:

I love my dad...

Sometimes I think it's funny what happens. My dad and I were on the phone. We were talking about my cousin moving and such and how she probably won't get married out here since she's moving next weekend. My dad was originally going to come and see me when he went to her wedding since I live an hour away from her. Anyways, my dad then decides to ask me the famous question..."So, when are you going to get married?"

I love you, dad. That has been on my to-do list forever and all of my friends know I am wedding-crazy and want to get married soooo badly! Especially since I'm positive that I have a keeper on my hands. You see, my dad used to always tell me to "slow down" in relationships and to really test it out first to see if we should get married. Now, he is really wanting to know when it will happen because he really likes the guy I'm with! This, folks is a definite first in my dating history. My dad has never thought that anyone was good enough for me and he thinks that Phil and I should be on our way to getting married!

I find it a little ironic. After my last big break-up my dad and I prayed for God to bring me a quality guy. I made out a list with all of the good qualities I was looking for that I would not budge on. I prayed over that list and over the guy that God would bring me, namely, my future husband. What I didn't know is that my dad was praying for the exact same thing only that the next guy God would bring me would be my husband!

Sure enough, only a couple of weeks afterwards, I started talking to Phil and within a few weeks of talking I was positive that this was it. I had this feeling from God that this is the person that God had in store for me!

As you can imagine, this dating process has been a little crazy considering I want to get married and know that my dad approves (which is a serious feat!) and God laid it all out there. Phil is an amazing man, but likes to take things a little bit slower. I have come to accept that and know that when the time is right, he will pop the question so all I have to do is have faith, keep praying, and be patient...which, unfortunately is not a strong suit of mine at the moment!

It's just so great to hear my dad say that he will give Phil his blessing and my hand whenever he is ready. It means so much to me to know that my dad sees all of the great things that I see. Phil is a wonderful man and I am so lucky to have him in my life. I can't wait to have our relationship move to the next step and I keep praying that it will happen when the time is right.....i may or may not mention something about sooner rather than later when I pray, but I'll never tell!

Great Weekend

This weekend was a lot of fun minus Friday night. Every Friday evening Phil's family has a family dinner. It is something I totally look forward to every week. Unfortunately I was unable to attend this Friday because instead I was busy waiting for my tub to be looked at since it was filled with water and would not drain. Even though it was necessary to wait around it ended up being fixed to drain, but they need to do something else so that it can plug up for baths.

Saturday was possibly my favorite! My legs were super sore from the leg work out my trainer had me do the day before, but at least I know the working out is working, right? We started off the day by going to lunch and meeting up with a friend at Bob Evans...I love Bob Evans. After that we went to the outlets and went shopping for 4 hours...ahhhh! I ended up getting a super cute pink coat with a faux fur hood. It's super comfy and cute and I really, really needed at coat for the winter. I also got some thermals and a zip-pull over fleece from the Gap outlet.

Today we went to church this morning and we went to the church that we were attending when we first started dating. It was a church that Phil had been going to for years and we left because of some drama between me and the youth pastor. Long story short...I was trying to get involved in youth ministries and the youth pastor was a little busy. He thought he was responding to me and I never got the emails. I thought I was being ignored and got really hurt and upset so we left that church for most of this year. He ended up seeing us in Panera Bread this past week, said hi and I no longer felt ignored. We went back this morning to try it out again.

After church to clear the air I went up to talk to him and explain what happened. We concurred it was a big misunderstanding and we both apologized. He extended another offer to volunteer with the youth ministry program and all is better. I figure we will continue to go there and hopefully we will make that our home church again.

Other than that we had lunch at home and ran some errands. It is so wonderful to have the whole weekend to do whatever we wanted and not worry about what time Phil has work.

It was a fantabulous weekend!

He makes me happy

This week I feel seriously lucky! I have a wonderful man who loves me so much and will put up with my shenanigans. He lets me wear his clothes when I can't find anything to wear and runs to the store when I, for some unknown reason, am craving potato salad. He spoils me, really he does. So, I would like to spoil him. You see, my boyfriend loves the weather. Tornadoes, thunderstorms, and especially blizzards make him really happy. I've been thinking for a while what I can do to surprise him. Here's what I've come up with so far...

A tornado cake! Now, I'm not so sure how I'm going to do it, but I think that if I research it enough, I can make it happen. If you have any suggestions please let me know!