Let's face it, I've gained 20 pounds in the last year. That's kinda a lot and I am not happy with it at all. The weight gain has been mostly because of stress with some "love weight" thrown in there by falling in love with an incredible man. Either way it needs to go.
I'll be the first one to admit that I am a procrasinator. The gym to me seems like a great idea until it is time to go. I'm also the best excuse maker ever --due to years of practice when I was a kid --to get out of anything I did not want to do.
I'm also a stress-eater. When stress comes my way so does my appetite. Cheeseburgers, pizza, bacon, ice cream, chocolate, cake, cookies...you name it, I want it.
Because of all of these things it has been really bad on my health. I have back pain, knee pain, and I get winded going up and down stairs. When we were at DisneyWorld this past summer, I couldn't even walk around the whole time. My back was in so much pain. My knees hurt, and my feet were so swollen I couldn't even fit into shoes or my sandals I had brought! It has gotten so bad that part of my leg feels swollen and will hurt if I have it bent too much. Unfortunately Phil's sister in law is a doctor and said it is not swollen. This of course means that it is just my fat that hurts....ouch :(
I am, honestly, about 55-60 pounds away from my goal weight. It's been exhausting to not be able to bend down while sitting to get things without having my belly get in the way. Phil will actually volunteer to do many things for me to help because he knows that it is incredibly uncomfortable for me to do myself--like carrying things up the stairs for me at his house. I'm not incapable and I do many things, but the weight does get in the way more than I would like it too.
I had just about had it today when the realization came that my insecurities all stem from my weight in some form or another. The once a month personal training is not working because we only meet once a month and other than that the average gym trip has been once a week...not too good.
Phil and I had talked about how I need more training from a professional multiple times a week to really see results and be motivated. With feeling so insecure lately I decided to talk to him about actually doing that and headed off to the gym to get prices on different training options. He agreed, surprisingly, that it would be a good idea to have me try it out for 3 months meeting with a trainer 4 times a week! This way I am guaranteed to go to the gym 4 times a week for the next 3 months and there should be some kind of significant progress by that point.
My first appointment is tomorrow with my new trainer. I am hopeful that it will go well and that it will be the kick in the butt I need to get going with weight loss and living a healthier lifestyle.