Tuesday, January 12, 2010


I'm at a crossroad in my life. I can now put my bachelor's degree as completed on my resume and start to send it out. It has been something that I've been craving for years and now it is finally here and I'm not sure where to start and what to do.

My whole life teaching was my dream, but upon finishing school and working with kids for years it has become less of a dream and more of a nightmare at this point. Working as a nanny for the past four years has me burnt out on childcare and craving something more in the business world.

I want to work in human resource management. There...I said it, but with that being said how do I take a resume filled with years of childcare experience and make it sound business and management like? I definitely have the skills and traits it takes, but how are they going to know that when all I've done was taken care of other people's lives for so long?

More and more I long for a career. I want to get dressed up and go to work at an office each day with co-workers. I want to feel important and feel like I'm getting the respect I deserve. I want to prove myself and be able to show others all of the great things that I can accomplish. But, instead I feel hopeless and unsure of what the next step should be.

I want to stay until the end of the school year with the family I am working for now. They deserve it and it is a great job. The youngest should be going to Kindergarten next year and I'm thinking that I will not be needed anymore which is fine because I need to move on with my life and have my degree.

I'm also at a stand-still with my relationship. We have been dating for a year and a half and although I want to get married in the fall, it seems that he is not ready and it doesn't look like he will be ready then. He is hopeful that he will be, but until I get a ring on my finger I feel better assuming it's not happening just yet.

We have talked about moving closer to his job so that his commute would be shorter and more manageable once we get married and that would place us a good 45 minutes from where we are now. I am unsure of where to even pursue looking for a new job in case that happens this fall or not. Either way I feel stuck.

With every big decision in my life I am constantly reminded from family and friends to make sure that Phil agrees with the decision because when we get married, it will affect him too. I can agree with all of that, but what happens if it doesn't come soon or even at all? I am trusting God that it will happen, but right now I'm having a hard time figuring it all out. What do you do when you are ready to get married, but he is not? How long do you wait and put your hopes and plans into it?

There's a lot I need to think about and figure out, but I'm just not sure right now. I feel a lot of pressure to make things happen, but am unsure what they are and what to do.

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