I love looking back on things that I've written. It gives me a sneak peek of what life was like at that point in time. I was reading a survey that was taken right before I moved here in January 2009 and noticed how happy and insightful I was about who I was and how much of myself was truly embraced. It was great to read over it and feel all of the nostalgic feelings of what life was like at that time. This is why I love journaling and blogging--to be able to look back on it later on and to remember and feel those things again. Sometimes I might wonder what on earth I was thinking, but it's still a great memory.
It's hard for me right now because so many things are about to change and there's nothing more I can do about it at the moment. I want to feel confident, happy, and insightful of myself and my future. Some days this task is easier than others, but there are days when I feel like I've lost myself and don't know where to go from here. It's hard to lose a job when you don't have another one lined up. Phil and I have decided to let me work part-time for the family I work for now and to let me focus on getting things in order in the meantime. We have a couple of back-up plans, but right now the best thing for me to do next month when the job ends full-time, is to focus on me and making myself the best person I can be (while continuing to apply and look for full-time employment). I have a wonderfully loving and supportive man, family, and a God who can conquer all things. I am working on not worrying and looking forward to a new opportunity! But, for now, we will take it one day at a time.