This post is about something I've been struggling with for a while now.
As we all know, I used to teach. In fact, I taught at the school associated with the church that we were going to. In fact, my in-laws are the longest standing members of that church to this day.
The 2010-2011 school year was my first year teaching. It had it's ups and downs, but I loved it. I taught 6th, 7th, and 10th grade English at a small, Christian school. I was offered to teach again the following school year and readily accepted. This year I taught 6th-8th grade English and 11th grade American Literature. Again, I loved teaching, but there were definitely more struggles this year.
There were some new students that decided to team up against me and the administration decided to side with them. There were many hurtful things said about me that were untrue. After months of repeated attacks, I decided to leave my position.
It has been over a month and I wish I could say that I was happy about how everything happened. The unfortunate news is that because of what happened with the school, my husband and I are no longer attending that church.
The way it went down was horrible and since the administration is actively involved in the church, my husband and I no longer felt comfortable going there. In fact, I've been having a hard time finding a church where I feel comfortable at.
The truth is that I've been more hurt by people in the churches I've been involved in more than anywhere else. I wish I felt differenly, but it hurts. I so desperately want to get involved and find a church body that I trust and can feel comfortable with, but I haven't found one since I moved here.
I still love and trust God and know that every church has people who aren't perfect. I'm not looking for perfect. I'm looking for some place that I feel won't turn on me or my family whenever they choose. I want to be somewhere that lifts me up and doesn't bring me down.
I know it will take time to heal completely and during that time my husband and I are praying to find the right home church. I know it's out there and that this was a blessing (in disguise), but sometimes it still hurts.
1 comment:
So, I know I am a total stranger...and I found your blog thru Cheerful Homemaker's post about a quilt along. I can absolutely relate to what you are going thru here. I am a former Christian school teacher of 10 years and left for different reasons. But it's still hard for me to fit into the church anymore. It will get better for you!! I just wanted to let you know, you're not alone :o)
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