Friday, August 6, 2010

Living together before marriage...or not?

I was checking my email today and found a link to take a poll. The question was: Did you live with your Significant Other (SO) before marriage. Let's just say that I jumped on the opportunity to take this poll and see the results.

76.9% said Yes
23.1% said No

I must admit that I was shocked to see those numbers. I know that most people now live with their significant other before marriage, but to see how high that number really was took me by surprise.

The fact that Phil and I do not live together is no secret. We do get some comments when people find that out, but mostly it's encouraging. Every now and then we get someone who does not agree with our situation, but we have decided to wait until we are married to live together and we are both happy with our decision.

What I like most about our decision is that there is no "trail run" to see if we will "work out" before we get married. That is what the dating/courtship period is for. Living together before you are married to see if it will work out is something most people see as a precautionary measure, but we see it a bit differently. Marriage to us equals commitment. You commit yourselves to one another (and to God) and decide that you will make it work...even if he leaves his dirty socks lying all over the floor!

I know many people who like the idea of living together before marriage, including my own mom, and we really feel that is a personal decision that each couple has to make for themselves. There are always going to be pros and cons to each situation, but the bottom line is that I would rather wait to live with my husband until after we are married and know that he loves me and is committed to staying no matter what then to go through a "trial period" to see if the man I love will work out.

What are your thoughts on this subject?


Mass Hole Mommy said...

I wouldn't marry someone without living with them first. It's just me, though. My fiance moved in 07/01 and we're getting married in October. Nice to meet you btw :)

Kathleen said...

@mass hole--congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I totally understand where you are coming from. I think each side has pros and cons and it's up to what each couple wants to do!

Blair@HeirtoBlair said...

We felt the EXACT same way that you do.

Nate & I didn't live together before we were married & we still maintain it was the best decision for us.

I always tell folks that for the first part of marriage, I was SO HAPPY to be married to come home to him that I didn't mind the dirty socks under the couch or the glass by the sink. & by the time I would have cared, it was already habit & ingrained.

In good news, that was the same for the dirty tissues I leave lying around the house. (I KNOW, so gross, right?!)