With the wedding six months away, I'm being asked a lot of questions about my weight.
"So, how much weight are you planning to lose before the wedding?"
"Are you planning on losing any weight for the wedding?"
Ok, so maybe not a lot in the form of different questions, but I'm being asked these questions a lot.
It gets tough for me because I feel, once again, like my motivation is gone. I start to eat healthier and feel like I am starving all the time. It also sucks to see everyone around me eating whatever they want because they don't need to lose any weight. My will power is non-existent as seen last night stuffing my face with dessert yet again.
I need a new game plan.
My gym has been giving me the run-around with renewing and I'm unsure if I want to stay there or go to the other gym that is more expensive and further away. There are perks to both places, but I really feel that the most important thing is to actually get there. I have the time, but it's not something I think about too much any more.
I have resorted to thinking that I'm always going to be fat. I didn't realize that I was gaining weight until it actually happened. I remember not even knowing until there was a picture of me and I was trying to figure out who the "fat girl" was standing next to my mom (it was a side shot so you couldn't see my face). Then, I realized it was me and I cringed. At that time, I knew.
The hard thing is, that in my mind I am not heavy so when I see it in pictures or the mirror it can seriously come as a complete shock...I know, right? It may be hard to believe, but this is part of the problem. Every time I think I'm doing well I'll see a recent picture and realize that it looks the same as before. I feel like there is no hope and no point in trying anymore and I gorge myself on desserts. I do manage to eat less overall still, but that doesn't cancel it out.
It all comes down to this...I need people to not hide food from me, they may think they're being helpful, but it does the complete opposite for me. I need to feel like I'm accomplishing a lot and see the results. I need some motivation, hope, and encouragement.