Friday, August 13, 2010

(Not so) Fit Friday

With the wedding six months away, I'm being asked a lot of questions about my weight.

"So, how much weight are you planning to lose before the wedding?"
"Are you planning on losing any weight for the wedding?"

Ok, so maybe not a lot in the form of different questions, but I'm being asked these questions a lot.

It gets tough for me because I feel, once again, like my motivation is gone. I start to eat healthier and feel like I am starving all the time. It also sucks to see everyone around me eating whatever they want because they don't need to lose any weight. My will power is non-existent as seen last night stuffing my face with dessert yet again.

I need a new game plan.

My gym has been giving me the run-around with renewing and I'm unsure if I want to stay there or go to the other gym that is more expensive and further away. There are perks to both places, but I really feel that the most important thing is to actually get there. I have the time, but it's not something I think about too much any more.

I have resorted to thinking that I'm always going to be fat. I didn't realize that I was gaining weight until it actually happened. I remember not even knowing until there was a picture of me and I was trying to figure out who the "fat girl" was standing next to my mom (it was a side shot so you couldn't see my face). Then, I realized it was me and I cringed. At that time, I knew.

The hard thing is, that in my mind I am not heavy so when I see it in pictures or the mirror it can seriously come as a complete shock...I know, right? It may be hard to believe, but this is part of the problem. Every time I think I'm doing well I'll see a recent picture and realize that it looks the same as before. I feel like there is no hope and no point in trying anymore and I gorge myself on desserts. I do manage to eat less overall still, but that doesn't cancel it out.

It all comes down to this...I need people to not hide food from me, they may think they're being helpful, but it does the complete opposite for me. I need to feel like I'm accomplishing a lot and see the results. I need some motivation, hope, and encouragement.

6 comments:

Melissa: Mother to 3 Little Sprouts said...

OK. Calm down :) BF is marrying you because he loves you- not because you might be thin one day!
Keep the gym thats closer to home. If you pick the far away one you will never go- I promise.
Find a TOPS chapter and sit in on a meeting. www.tops.org I think. Google it if not. There are no meals t buy, $26 registration fee and, like, $3/wk dues. SUPER affordable! They are supportive and EDUCATE you- not make you count points or eat gross meals. Try it- it works.
Following you from Stash Mama!
Tiffany @ HGF

Teresa and Brian said...

I went through the same thing when I getting married. Those questions asked over and over, made me want to have it just be us at the ceremony. But I remembered that, exactly what Tiffany said, my fiance was marrying me because of love, not weight.
As for the gyms - I didn't/don't feel comfortable at the gym closer to my house and LOVE the gym that is farther away. I think it has something to do with no one knowing me there and they have a pool (the gym closer to my house doesn't). When I am feeling unmotivated, I go swim laps. I do that because I feel that swimming is fun/play time, not a workout.
Following you from MannLand5!
Teresa :)

Ron Cooper said...

Hi Kathleen!

Nice blog! I’m following you from Follow Me Chickadee Friday. Please follow me back on my blog “Inspire!”

Ron

http://inspiredbyron.blogspot.com/

Lauren said...

Hello
New follower from on of the friday Blog hops!!!You have an adorable blog!!! Hope you have a great friday and wonderful weekend!

xoxoxo
Lauren
www.twentysomethinghousewife.com

Ps I also host a weekly blog hop... so feel free to link up anytime!!!

Shining 2 Save said...

Hi! I am your newest follower from the blog hop.

I hope you can stop by and visit my blog, I have a couple of great giveaways going on right now.

Have a great day!

Kari @ http://shining2save.com

Dawn said...

hey there! following you from FF :) Hope you have a great weekend!
Dawn :)
http://flipoutmama.blogspot.com/